New small town, my business and the "ex-boss"

So I am at a pretty serious point in my life as a photographer. At least I think so. I’m doing way less weddings because I’ve chosen to for so many reasons. A few being that I just don’t have the time or energy these days to shoot a 10-hour wedding day, put up with some nasty attitudes that make my day go sour (please tell me, why are so many people, guests especially, disrespectful of the photographers?), and then take about 20-30 hours proofing, graphically correcting, and designing wedding albums for these clients. All big chunks of time taken away from my family. It’s just too hard for me right now. But I love doing weddings, especially ones with laid back happy brides and grooms who make the day easy and fun for me. I do love it. Just not 20 a year. I’m down to about 5 now and all 5 are booked up for next year. I so love the thought of just having FIVE. (However, I know I'm setting myself up for a hard time telling prospective clients 'no'.)

My photography draw lately has been maternity, newborns and children. My passion is really blossoming in these sorts of photographs. I love it. I love capturing phases of these little people’s lives. I love capturing moments that most people don’t want to wait around and shoot on their own. I love those perfect priceless moments that can’t be reenacted especially at places like Sears, JC Penny's and Wal-Mart. And seriously, I'm not saying that in a bad way, just that retail chains like these can't go on-location and see through the lens of a camera what I get to see. I love what I do.

So Leann called me this morning. I may have the opportunity to work with a woman here in town who is big stuff. She’s pregnant, due any day, and she loves my work. She wants me to shoot her maternity pictures (soon!), her birth, and then pictures of the baby after it’s born. Her problem is, she works closely with a guy . . . another photographer here in town . . . the same photographer I use to work for. The same photographer that I walked out on and never came back to. My ex-boss. Yikes. Yup. Kinda puts me in a weird spot.

She wants these kinds of pictures . . . maternity and birth . . . but doesn’t feel comfortable with ‘him’ doing them. I understand that completely! That’s one of the huge benefits I have being female and having the love of shooting these kinds of photos. I am proud to be a woman, oh yes I am! I’m so glad ‘he’s’ a man, oh yes I am!!

This woman owns a very nice restaurant in our town. One that people come near and far to have a nice white table-cloth, steak and red wine dinner (they are also a martini bar). She also caters to a nearby super nice and well-established wedding/reception site. And she also works very closely with my ex-boss at this location. That’s the kicker.

However, she suddenly wants me. Me.

Tomorrow night, Leann and I are having dinner with her at her place. (Kinda hoping to get a martini "on the house".) We’re going to discuss my work and I have to come prepared with pricing. I want to show up with a really fab brochure. One that I don’t have right now because I haven’t put one together yet for this type of work. Besides, my address and contact info has all changed. My price sheets even have to be revamped.

I am freaking excited about this. But very very nervous also.

I am so nervous because ‘ex-boss’ is going to definitely know about me now. I’ve tried to keep low profile because I’m kinda scared of him finding out about me. I know that he knows that I am shooting on my own now, but I am not sure he knows now that I am in his town where I once worked. I’m not sure he knows that I live just literally 5 minutes away from his home and his studio. Can you tell that we didn’t part on the best terms? He’s a good guy, he really is, but he didn’t have the best manners or moral values. I am not trying to be judgemental at all. I just know what I saw and it put a really bad taste in my mouth. And I couldn’t work in that sort of environment any longer regardless of his intentions.

‘Ex-boss’ is also probably going to be see my pricing. He’s going to know who I market to and what kind of deals I have (/don’t have). He’s going to probably come to my VWC blog site, and he’ll probably find my website. All this makes me even more excited and thrilled about being here and venturing out into new things like I am, and excited to finally, finally, get my new website up.

But it also makes me really nervous.

I’m not one to deal with criticism well. I’m not one to deal with ‘people talking’. I’m not one who can take confrontation. I have absolutely no idea what I’d do if I saw him. Wait, yes I do. I’d probably run and hide. Oh my goodness, it makes my heart just race thinking about it! Why do I let people and things get to me like this? See, that’s my other problem. I don't have a backbone. (Erin, I can so related to your recent post!)

So, I’m nervous. Very nervous. I don’t think this potential client will pull herself completely away from ‘ex-boss’ because Leann tells me they are friends. But this could still be huge (HUGE!) for me. It’s what I’ve been wanting for a long long time. But I’m really scared, nervous, and starting to feel a bit stressed knowing that I have to come up with a really kick-butt brochure in the next 36 hours.

Think of me, please. And cross your fingers that I say the right things tomorrow night and present her with a brochure that she just can’t say no to.

If you made it to the bottom of this, I thank you. I really just needed to “talk it out”, so thanks for “listening”. Oh the joys of being a business-owner, spineless, (fairly) young woman in a new town! Woo-hoo.

{Speaking of . . . tomorrow morning I photograph my first ever twin clients! They are a boy and girl 1 month-old twin cuties. Also their big brother. I'm excited. Hopefully that will put me in the mood and inspire me to have an even better dinner Friday night with 'prospective client'! Wish me luck!}