Totally blog-worthy.

In the past week and a half, I have been out of my house twice. Last week I was feeling so poopy that I never had the energy to leave. So Saturday was my first day out in a week and it was for a very cool reason: to shoot pictures of my very lovely and beautiful sister-in-law Ashley. She wanted pictures and I had wanted to do them, so Ash, her mom, sister and myself all headed out on our photo shoot. We had so much fun and I had never seen Ash look so beautiful, cute and spunky before. I've only proofed a small handful, but of those, this one is my fave:



Isn't she adorable? She and hubby look so much alike! We did some fun shoots with her beloved Twilight Saga Series of books and also her Jonas Brothers Rolling Stones edition, as well as her cute baby blue converse and tie-dyed knee-high socks. Back when I was 13 and if I had had this opportunity, my pictures would have been with my Babysitter's Club or Judy Blume books and my latest BOP magazine with the (young version!) New Kids on the Block, and I'd be wearing my jean jacket, white keds and tight-rolled jeans (and in case you need a reminder on how to do that, check out this site). Oh how things have changed. I must say the hair styles are adorable now. What were we thinking with the feathered permed hair?!

Today I got out again. And it was a day of bravery. We met Heather to get her invitations printed, went to Starbucks, walked to Target, then I took Noah to get his hair cut (he looks so handsome by the way), and since I had a lot of time before my hair appointment at 5, we went to lunch and then I took the kids to the zoo. Neil left for Chicago this morning and would be gone overnight, so I had no reason to be home. We met Heather in the zoo and she gave us extra special treatment there as she always does (she is such a rockin' zoo keeper!).

You won't believe what I did. Well, first of all, I didn't have my camera with me because of this being a spontaneous trip, and that in itself is pretty shocking. I did, however, have my camera phone. Yay! Because, well, just look at the picture. This is what I did:



What a lifetime experience!!! I still can't believe I did it. I was soooo nervous walking in there, but soooo glad I did it. How many people can say they've petted a cheetah?! I canNOT wait to do it again and be able to bring my REAL camera this time. Such friendly beautiful amazing creatures. And the little (ha ha!) guys were purring so loudly! It was truly an amazing experience.

Then it was off to my wonderful beautician's place. I've been having issues and decided to cut all my hair off, at the same time, deciding to donate it to Pantene Pro-V's Beautiful Lengths program which is a hair donation program for women with cancer. Well, I didn't spur-of-the-moment just decide to donate it. This is why I kept growing my hair and growing my so I could one day donate it. I just never thought that "one day" would happen this quickly. I was going to wait till after Heather's wedding in September, but timing was right for me to cut it now. So I did. Well, Kim did.

It was pretty scary. I was so nervous and on the verge of tears. Kim said, "you aren't going to cry on me, are you?". I said "I'm trying not to!". She said, "would wine help you?" knowing just how incredibly stressed I was about this. I said, "um, yeah, do you have some?", and she said, "yeah, you want a glass or two?" I said "yes please!", so my wonderful friend/beautician came out with large glass of sweet red wine and that really did help. Bless her!

Deep breath.

She pulled it back and all at once, it was gone! Of course she styled it and all that jazz, and I have to say, I'm quite happy. So here's the new me:



And here's some of my locks. Wahhhh! But ultimately, I have to remember why I did this. It's still hard. Such a change!



I get my blood test results back on Thursday. Please be thinking of me. I'm so stressed out about all this . . .

Quote-eful, Thought-ful, Foto-ful Friday

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.” ~ Karen Ravn

That quote makes me think of these pictures:






I have my last wedding of the entire year, before my bff's wedding in Sept. I'm kind of nervous. I'm not usually nervous, but I am. It's my cousin's wedding and I want her pictures to be perfect. I want the pictures to be perfect every time, but I just want to end my wedding year on a bang. A good bang.

My hubby and kids will be there and I think that makes me especially nervous. Well, not so much nervous, but anxious. I have to not only pack an overnight bag for myself, but the kids, too, and then also pack up all my photography equipment, etc. I had a dream last night that I forgot some of the most important things. The battery for my camera and I only brought one memory card. Not that I could use that memory card because without the battery, I can't even turn on the camera to take a picture. Hopefully that's just my conscience reminding me not to forget those 2 very critical things!

It's going to be a quick trip down to southern Illinois. I wish we had more time to really enjoy the trip. It's where Neil and I went to college and we haven't been back there for years, and it's one of our very favorite places in the world. It's nothing extra super fabulous, but it's where we spent lots of time together every day, experiencing parts of life that would mold us for the rest of our lives. I loved college. I think he did, too.

The neat thing is, one of my college classmates, also a graphic design major, will be second-shooting the wedding with me. I haven't seen Patty for a couple years now. She just graduated last year with her Master's in photography. So this will be a fun experience for both of us. I'm really looking forward to seeing her and what she might teach me. (She's completely opposite from me in how and what she shoots. She's very abstract and modern, so I hope some cool things that she does will rub off on me. I'm always up for learning new photography tricks, skills and poses.)

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.” ~ Karen Ravn

I need to post-it note that on my camera bag :)

Happy weekend, my friends!

New small town, my business and the "ex-boss"

So I am at a pretty serious point in my life as a photographer. At least I think so. I’m doing way less weddings because I’ve chosen to for so many reasons. A few being that I just don’t have the time or energy these days to shoot a 10-hour wedding day, put up with some nasty attitudes that make my day go sour (please tell me, why are so many people, guests especially, disrespectful of the photographers?), and then take about 20-30 hours proofing, graphically correcting, and designing wedding albums for these clients. All big chunks of time taken away from my family. It’s just too hard for me right now. But I love doing weddings, especially ones with laid back happy brides and grooms who make the day easy and fun for me. I do love it. Just not 20 a year. I’m down to about 5 now and all 5 are booked up for next year. I so love the thought of just having FIVE. (However, I know I'm setting myself up for a hard time telling prospective clients 'no'.)

My photography draw lately has been maternity, newborns and children. My passion is really blossoming in these sorts of photographs. I love it. I love capturing phases of these little people’s lives. I love capturing moments that most people don’t want to wait around and shoot on their own. I love those perfect priceless moments that can’t be reenacted especially at places like Sears, JC Penny's and Wal-Mart. And seriously, I'm not saying that in a bad way, just that retail chains like these can't go on-location and see through the lens of a camera what I get to see. I love what I do.

So Leann called me this morning. I may have the opportunity to work with a woman here in town who is big stuff. She’s pregnant, due any day, and she loves my work. She wants me to shoot her maternity pictures (soon!), her birth, and then pictures of the baby after it’s born. Her problem is, she works closely with a guy . . . another photographer here in town . . . the same photographer I use to work for. The same photographer that I walked out on and never came back to. My ex-boss. Yikes. Yup. Kinda puts me in a weird spot.

She wants these kinds of pictures . . . maternity and birth . . . but doesn’t feel comfortable with ‘him’ doing them. I understand that completely! That’s one of the huge benefits I have being female and having the love of shooting these kinds of photos. I am proud to be a woman, oh yes I am! I’m so glad ‘he’s’ a man, oh yes I am!!

This woman owns a very nice restaurant in our town. One that people come near and far to have a nice white table-cloth, steak and red wine dinner (they are also a martini bar). She also caters to a nearby super nice and well-established wedding/reception site. And she also works very closely with my ex-boss at this location. That’s the kicker.

However, she suddenly wants me. Me.

Tomorrow night, Leann and I are having dinner with her at her place. (Kinda hoping to get a martini "on the house".) We’re going to discuss my work and I have to come prepared with pricing. I want to show up with a really fab brochure. One that I don’t have right now because I haven’t put one together yet for this type of work. Besides, my address and contact info has all changed. My price sheets even have to be revamped.

I am freaking excited about this. But very very nervous also.

I am so nervous because ‘ex-boss’ is going to definitely know about me now. I’ve tried to keep low profile because I’m kinda scared of him finding out about me. I know that he knows that I am shooting on my own now, but I am not sure he knows now that I am in his town where I once worked. I’m not sure he knows that I live just literally 5 minutes away from his home and his studio. Can you tell that we didn’t part on the best terms? He’s a good guy, he really is, but he didn’t have the best manners or moral values. I am not trying to be judgemental at all. I just know what I saw and it put a really bad taste in my mouth. And I couldn’t work in that sort of environment any longer regardless of his intentions.

‘Ex-boss’ is also probably going to be see my pricing. He’s going to know who I market to and what kind of deals I have (/don’t have). He’s going to probably come to my VWC blog site, and he’ll probably find my website. All this makes me even more excited and thrilled about being here and venturing out into new things like I am, and excited to finally, finally, get my new website up.

But it also makes me really nervous.

I’m not one to deal with criticism well. I’m not one to deal with ‘people talking’. I’m not one who can take confrontation. I have absolutely no idea what I’d do if I saw him. Wait, yes I do. I’d probably run and hide. Oh my goodness, it makes my heart just race thinking about it! Why do I let people and things get to me like this? See, that’s my other problem. I don't have a backbone. (Erin, I can so related to your recent post!)

So, I’m nervous. Very nervous. I don’t think this potential client will pull herself completely away from ‘ex-boss’ because Leann tells me they are friends. But this could still be huge (HUGE!) for me. It’s what I’ve been wanting for a long long time. But I’m really scared, nervous, and starting to feel a bit stressed knowing that I have to come up with a really kick-butt brochure in the next 36 hours.

Think of me, please. And cross your fingers that I say the right things tomorrow night and present her with a brochure that she just can’t say no to.

If you made it to the bottom of this, I thank you. I really just needed to “talk it out”, so thanks for “listening”. Oh the joys of being a business-owner, spineless, (fairly) young woman in a new town! Woo-hoo.

{Speaking of . . . tomorrow morning I photograph my first ever twin clients! They are a boy and girl 1 month-old twin cuties. Also their big brother. I'm excited. Hopefully that will put me in the mood and inspire me to have an even better dinner Friday night with 'prospective client'! Wish me luck!}

Today is the day

Today is Noah's first day of preschool. He is so excited! He's going to such a great school and he's going to have the best learning experience. So tell me, why am I sooooooooo nervous??