We went for a walk yesterday and walking past Jen's house made me excited at first because I thought I would run up to the door to see what she and Addy were doing, and then I remembered, they aren't there any longer. It made me want to cry.
It's so funny how this street that I live on represents so much still to me; how it all appears to be the same, but how each family's lives have changed and how even though the houses are the same and never change, the inside of these houses always are in one way or another. That's especially how it is at Jen's house. Totally changed.
It appears to be lived in by Ryan, Jen and Addy, but it's not. I see it as their house and always will, but I know that their bodies, their lives, their future memories now reside 10 hours away in another state . . . so far far away. Oh how I miss them, oh how I miss just walking down 6 houses to tell her something, see what she is doing, to share something and so on. I think what I miss the most is having the security of such a perfect friend just steps away whom I can count on at any given moment.
Anyway, tomorrow is Addy's 1st birthday. I can't hardly believe it! It seems like just yesterday that I was instructing with my doula-ish inner powers how Jen should get comfortable during labor, taking pictures of her on the birth ball, rubbing her feet, and then in the hospital seeing Addy for the first time, taking fresh pictures of the newborn baby girl and helping Jen with post-labor issues in the bathroom (no description necessary!).
I so wish I had been there for her party last weekend. Here's the invite that I got in the mail. So dang cute. I'd never expect anything otherwise from such a creative mommy! Can't wait to see pictures of how she demolished the cake, Jen! Big girl Addison . . . sigh . . . wow, I still cannot believe it . . .