Oh man . . .

. . . I don't know anymore if we are meant to just stay in this house forever or move far far far far away, after we fix what has become a big big big huge problem.

We are having septic problems again. AGAIN. And I'm about to pull my hair out, throw the flag in and give up. We aren't selling and are having very few interests anymore, and well, maybe this is why? We aren't meant to sell. I honestly can't see myself living here forever, though. If we did, I could never do anything more than what I am doing with my business. And my kids would have to go to private school. There's nothing wrong with that, but if we put out that money, we might as well be spending that money on a nicer house where we'd be in a better stable school district where the kids could go to public schools and not have to fork out buko bucks for private, right? Right?

We had 150 feet of pipe cleaned out, which was, I'm not even sure 2 weeks ago? I come home from getting my hair colored and cut last night and see Neil standing in the kitchen speechless and looking upset. I ask him what was wrong and he said that "it" had backed up again. "What?!", I said. I wanted to cry. This does not come at a very good time, either - but does anything? - right before my 26 people wedding party and 400 guest wedding, my first wedding of the year and I feel rusty and overwhelmed as it is.

This told us that we definitely do have a problem and must have new lines put in, costing us over $2,000 probably. Which also means, 1) people will know we've had a problem and won't want to buy (that is, if we by chance even found someone wanting to buy!) and 2) we probably won't be able to build our house.

We could probably build a house but not the house we have now have blue prints for. And if that's the case, then we probably won't build at all because the requirement in our subidvision is that you must build at least a 2,000 sq foot home. We won't be able to afford that any longer (we are going to have to dig into our money which we were using for our down payment). And really, why even build if we can't afford that when we already live in a 1400 sq ft home? We may as well do it right. And obviously right now is not the time. (great big sigh . . . . )

You know, that's fine. Whatever is meant to be, is meant to be. I just don't get it. I don't get it one bit. Can we get off this roller coaster . . . please?! First Miami, then that fell through, now this is going to fall through . . . now what?

I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself, as anyone probably would in this predicament. I just want to know (and of course right this instant) what we are going to do. We both decided we don't want to live here. We have already put in $20,000 in our 1930's home to keep it "up-to-par". Now it will be at least $22,000, and the way it's looking there's no way we will get that back when we sell. Which also means that in 6 years our house's value has not increased?! What?!? That just doesn't seem logical. But wait, we live in Decatur. Yes it is. (another great big sigh . . . )

I know I need to look at the big picture. At how things could be way way way worse. And I do realize that and I am very grateful and I absolutely hate complaing about this, which is why I rarely ever do to any of you outloud in conversation. Writing just really helps me. So thank you for reading and thanks ahead of time for the nice words I know you'll say, because you always do. You know how to make my day, which also definitely makes me see the bigger picture that I am already so blessed in my life with such incredibly wonderful supportive friends and family, and that ultimately, that's really all I need. I do love you all a lot and am so grateful for every one of you. I don't think I tell you that enough.

Before I end this, can I say one more thing, though? We have a lot that we have purchased and if we can't build on it now, tell me . . . what do we do? We start making payments on it in May. (. . . big big sigh . . .)


SuperMom said...

Oh gosh, what a predicament. :(

How long do houses typically stay on the market in Decatur? Has your house been on longer than is typical? If not, is there a good chance that if you put the $2,000 in that you'll sell the house?

I can hear how stressed you are, and how sad. I feel so badly for you, but don't lose hope. Just deal with the immediate problems that you have control over (i.e. the septic) and hopefully what you can't control will follow. :)


mama2dibs said...

I feel for you. I don't know what it's like for things to break and to want out of a house so bad so you can get into your new one, but I do know what it is like to want your dream house (or close to it) to sell so you can rebuild it, but of course...as you, we can't afford it! We are thinking that we will just buy a smaller, in-between house so we can save up. I'm tired of trying to cut down our dream house so that we can afford it. Just keep hold of your land. Maybe it won't be today, but eventually...you will have your house!

Just remember, we all love you! And it's OK to feel frustrated. You will have that every once in awhile. You can keep that resolve only for so long before you need a break. Been there, done that. Some days you just need to CRY about the situation! Don't feel guilty, just indulge yourself once in awhile and stay strong the rest of the time. Easier said than done, I know. But you are a strong woman and I know you will grow from this.

A said...

You know if you pay to have the septic fixed I think that people will be more willing to buy. There was a problem but you got it fixed. I know that doesn't help that money situation but maybe it will help with potential buyers.

I'm sure it is frustrating. When I look around our house I'm amazed at all the things we need to do yet can't afford. Things will happen soon and then everything else will just roll along with the flow. ((hugs))

Alexis Jacobs said...

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. What a poopy situation :)

If you make the repairs it will ensure future buyers that they won't have the same issues. So in that way it will be a good thing.

It is hard when we are unsure of where God wants us in our lives. And it is even harder to be patient and listen to Him.



lil ole' me..... said...

Oh Val! That just stinks. I feel for you, really I do. I can't imagine how frustrated and upset you are right now. I am glad that you wrote about it though- like you said, sometimes to put it in writing and get it off your chest is helpful. I wish I knew God's timing and plans for you. The verse that comes to my mind when I read your post is "Worry about nothing and pray about everything". I know this is easier said than done, but just hand the situation over to God and He will take care of it for you!

Lots of hugs going your way!!!! :)

Erin said...

Oh, Val, I'm so sorry for all your stress!!! It's so very hard when you don't know what the right thing is to do. It all involves some risk. I'm feeling kind of the way you are in our house situation, and the only thing that I keep reminding myself of is that God is in control and He knows what's right for us. He's taking care of you and you have to trust Him. Totally and utterly. So very hard to do. I'll keep praying for you guys.

Michelle said...

Aw man! So sorry to hear the bad, sad news! We will keep you in our prayers!

Love you! xoxo

it's me, Val said...

as i knew . . . you're all so wonderful . . .

Jamie said...

Val sorry to hear about yet another life road block. Wish I had some thoughtful and full of insight advice to give but I don't. All I can say is you and Neil are troopers that can deal with everything that comes your way even if you don't want to. Some how some way the right path to go will appear and you will know what to do. ((((HUGS))))