We had dinner with our good friends (a.k.a. old neighbors) last night at our favorite local place. I swear each time we go back to the area it gets harder and harder. It's suppose to get easier, right? I definitely thought it would be easier than last October. It wasn't.
We had a really great dinner. So much fun! And we went back to their house afterwards. That was hard. Especially since when we got out of the car, Noah sees our house and says "there's our old house. I miss our old house." I wanted to sob. But I held it in. I think Vic could tell I was having a hard time. I acted like it didn't bother me. (More margaritas, please!)
The hardest was getting in the car and leaving. I began crying when I got in the car and I bawled my eyes out the whole way home. That's 30 minutes straight. Yeah, my eyes and face were pretty swollen. I couldn't hold it back. I just miss it so much. And I think I've been holding it in for 8 months.
What do I miss? Not so much the house itself but I think our carefree moments. I did relish every second of it and I don't regret anything. But I miss our nightly walks and just the feeling of being outside not caring what anyone else thought of me. I love that when someone drove by, they always always waved. I loved that within a few months we knew everyone on our block. I didn't have true friends for a few years there, but everyone was always so friendly and would do anything for us. I haven't felt that here yet. I feel like a stranger still. I don't feel like I can sit in my front yard and feel at ease doing so. How long does it take? We've been here 8 months.
I just miss it so much. We're in this amazing little town with remarkable schools. But I would give that all back to go back to where we lived. I'm realizing what's most important. Home is definitely where the heart is. And my heart isn't here.
Pics from last summer . . . oh how I miss it. I loved sitting on the front step watching the kids play. Frankie just adored it too . . .
We're off to dinner with other friends. Hopefully a glass of wine will make me feel better. (Sigh . . .) Sorry to mope. It's just kinda hard.