Synposis and diagnosis.

(For some of you, you already know this -- sorry for the repeat!)

Thankfully, the thyroid blood tests, glucose, etc., all came back normal -- yay! Problem, however was my blood pressure. Weird, eh?!

Yeah, I had SUPER high BP. It was worse than when I was pre-eclampsic with both Noah and Maia during my pregnancies. At the beginning of my appointment it was 148/98, second time it was taken (different person and different BP thingie), it was 150/100 (2nd time was taken by the doc herself). She said THAT is what is most likely causing my dizziness. I've also been experiencing some heart palpitations (which I have never experienced before) and the high BP could be the cause of that, too. I've also been so tired and having bad bad headaches -- also symptoms of high BP. So I now start taking BP medications and in 11 days I call the doctor after having it taken and report in what my BP numbers were (my dad has a BP thingie that I'm borrowing and I guess Neil will be my nurse, hehe). We'll then go from there on what needs to be done next . . . I never ever thought THIS would be what's happening! At the same time, thank God it's probably nothing worse.

The BP thing is weird because other than during pregnancy, I have never had high BP in my life. It's always been perfect or below. So this is strange, but definitely explains why I have been feeling as "off" as I have!! Why the high BP, though, who knows? Could be stress. I've been under a lot of because I have had hair loss (caused by my birth control pills, another thing we had to go over at my appointment), and just so much else going on . . . been the busiest I have ever been with my work, my cat and a problem we're having with him forcing me to probably have to give him away, etc. I think it's maybe catching up with me. Or....I'm just one of those destined genetically for high BP. My dad has high BP and high cholesterol, both of which he can't control with eating and exercise because it's hereditary for him as well (he's in great shape -- very active -- eats very well -- he has tried, but it doesn't help him). His sister also has it, so did their mother, my grandma. I wish I had my mom's side of the family's genes. They seem to be much stronger.

I'm very happy. Still not feeling well because there's no magic answer for that. I will fill my script for the BP meds tomorrow and hopefully those will take effect right away. I look forward to not feeling so weird and dizzy and not myself. I've felt like I've been just "floating" and just not really "here" most of the time. It's been a weird experience. This morning I woke up with my feet tingly. It's kinda of scary when you know your heart is being affected and you can't really control it. I'm trying not to think about that or else I'll probably just make it worse being the worry-wart that I am.

I decided not to take on any weddings next year. I've turned down a 1/2 dozen calls, one at the country club of Champaign. I just think I really need the break. They wear me out during and after with all the proof work I have to do. And I really don't make all that money anyhow considering how much I spend working on a wedding as a whole. I do have one in Houston, TX, but that's it. And I'm not planning on anymore unless it's like Hawaii or something :) I think this will not only be good for me, but our family, too. I am actually really looking forward to being more "free" on weekends.

When I told the doctor about my taking no more weddings she said "noooooooo. You were going to photograph my daughter's wedding!" I said, "well, I'm always open to making exceptions and I definitely would for you." I love her. She is the best doctor I have ever had. Not because of what she said. She just is.

Neil is gone tonight to Pittsburg, so it's just me and the kids. When they go to bed I'm just going to enjoy the quietness. I really really think I need that.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. Hopefully the BP medication is the answer. Pray that it come down and that my symptoms dissolve away. The symptoms have been the scariest for me. I want this to be something that is controllable and will allow me to continue living my life. The last 2 weeks I have hardly lived.