Long-awaited update

It's been long enough since I posted at my more recent blog that I don't think some of you know that I'm pregnant. Way to welcome myself back with big news, hey? So now let's back up a bit.

The day I found out I was pregnant, I also found out I had Fibromyalgia and Sjogren's Syndrome. A few months before that, I found out I also had Hypothyroidism and PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome). As if my life couldn't have gotten any more complicated when we found out the news of another baby in incubation. ;) I wasn't sure whether to be excited or worried. Of course I only got very worried, excitement unable to set in.

To bring you up to my current status, I'm still pregnant. (Great big smile.) 16-1/2 weeks, to be exact. We find out the sex of the baby in 15 days (yes, I'm counting down).

The first 13 weeks were a crazy roller coaster filled with mostly the big downs. I was super sick, losing about 10 lbs. I was extremely exhausted, not just because of the pregnancy, but also because of my illnesses, well, and then the fact that I was also mothering two pre-school-aged children. It was very hard. I've had one bout of major pain lasting about a week. When I have the bouts of pain, it's hard to function. My arms, legs, feet, elbows, upper back all hurt. (When I say "hurt", it feels just like body aches when you have the flu, only worse. So sit back and imagine that. It's not fun.) I get spasms throughout my body and limbs go numb. I also get really exhausted and just need to sleep, but as all us mothers know, that's nearly impossible. So I just bite my tongue through the pain, try and parent the best I can, and do what I can to just get through another day (all the while complaining and crying to Neil every waking minute he's here -- he's my rock). Thankfully that just lasted about a week. Things have pretty much been in remission since then. Knock-on-wood. I would be quite happy if I could make it the rest of the pregnancy without anymore bouts. Actually, I would be ecstatic.

On the plus side, baby is doing quite well. S/he is growing on time and then some. S/he is measuring 2 weeks ahead (something we'll get more concerned with as time goes on) and his/her heart rate has been nice and high. Now I'm feeling kicks and movements constantly which is reassuring and wonderful. I have missed those kicks...something you hope to never forget once you're not pregnant, but when you are again, you welcome back that feeling with open arms because you forgot how great the real thing felt.

The first few weeks were tough. Not just because I was so sick but because it was a very risky time. I saw my doctor every 2 weeks and had 4 ultrasounds in that time. We went into the pregnancy thinking I was going to miscarry, but s/he came through for me! Making it to the 13 week point was such a huge huge milestone. I have now "graduated" to just every 4-week appointments.

Now we're just waiting anxiously for the next appointment, hoping we get good news from the level II ultrasound which will tell us a lot about the baby's health. I'm very nervous about that. I am taking a lot of drugs and while I know they are deemed safe, it is still scary to put anything questionable in your body when you're carrying a baby.

In other areas of our life... Neil is working hard and traveling a LOT. He got another new responsibility at work and so far that has meant he travels much more. Not my cup of tea, especially during pregnancy. I am hoping he'll get it out of his system before baby arrives. I'll need him much more then. But in the last 3 weeks he has been to New York City, San Antonio, Geneva, Switzerland, and Paris, France. Tomorrow he leaves for Chicago. Based on his pictures, I really hope to get to go to Switzerland with him sometime. Looks gorgeous and a place I'd love to document with my own photography.

I signed Noah up last week for kindergarten. That was hard. On me. I sat in the car and took a few deep breaths and held back tears before heading in. It was just such a big step in his/my life. It means reading, writing, tying shoes, losing teeth, and going full-days at school. My baby is a big boy now. It's hard to come to that realization some days, especially on the day of registration.

Maia is also signed up for next year, pre-school. She'll go every day, half days. She's very very ready and I'm ready for her. (It's so much easier to let go of her versus Noah and I'm not sure why that is, but it is.) She already knows her teacher quite well and a handful of her classmates. I know she will do very well and I'm thrilled for her. She'll have a much better time getting to go to school every day than spending the mornings with mommy and baby. It will also be good for baby and me to have this one-on-one time together. Ultimately will make it easier for all I hope.

In my photography world, to be honest, I've been very slow. After Christmas, most sittings stopped, and I have no weddings booked for 2009 (something I did on purpose and am very excited about). Not being busy has been a Godsend as I don't think I could have done anything, even if asked to, the past 4 months. Now that spring is peeking out it's head, people are getting the itch for photos, so my months ahead are booking up. I love family and baby/child sittings. While I adore weddings, I feel I can be more creative and have much more fun with smaller shoots. Not to mention I get MUCH more time with my family.

A few months ago I was offered a job through a graphic design firm in Decatur to work for them doing specific photo shoots every month. They kind of interviewed me and I got to see and hear exactly what they wanted from me. I was excited with what I saw and the girls at the firm were excited with what they saw in my work. (Yay!) So, now that the magazine is finally starting up, I can talk about it! It's called "Thrive" and it's about Decatur (and surrounding areas) focusing on the good and positive about Decatur (especially night life and recreation; Decatur's reputation isn't that wonderful to outsiders, even some insiders) and highlighting those positive things on a monthly basis. I am, and will be, the main photographer documenting these things! My first "job" begins this month and the first publication will be out in June. I am very very excited. A great way to expand my work portfolio, have a steady stream of moolah coming in, and it will give me the chance to open myself up more. I tend to stay in this nice little bubble most of the time and I think I need to get out more :)

I was also contacted at the beginning of the year about my "Informant" movie photos. This magazine "Illinois Country Living" has decided to do a special issue dedicated to the movie and will be published in September when the movie comes out. They've chosen my photos for the article as well as the COVER photo!! They interviewed me, too, and I'm kinda nervous about that part, hoping they won't publish any of it. ;) I think I had some pretty corny answers. It's hard to come up with clever stuff! But, ultimately, I am soooo excited and hope to get a few copies to hand out to those of you who love me most ;)

Well, I will end this post for now. I have a feeling it's already WAY more than what you were hoping for. I guess that's what you get when you don't see "me" anymore and my blog doesn't see you. Sorry for the hiatus. I've missed you all a lot. I'm also going to update Grandma's Diary. I've been getting lots of slack from my mom and Great Aunt...in very nice subtle ways ;)

Lots of love ~ Val

Synposis and diagnosis.

(For some of you, you already know this -- sorry for the repeat!)

Thankfully, the thyroid blood tests, glucose, etc., all came back normal -- yay! Problem, however was my blood pressure. Weird, eh?!

Yeah, I had SUPER high BP. It was worse than when I was pre-eclampsic with both Noah and Maia during my pregnancies. At the beginning of my appointment it was 148/98, second time it was taken (different person and different BP thingie), it was 150/100 (2nd time was taken by the doc herself). She said THAT is what is most likely causing my dizziness. I've also been experiencing some heart palpitations (which I have never experienced before) and the high BP could be the cause of that, too. I've also been so tired and having bad bad headaches -- also symptoms of high BP. So I now start taking BP medications and in 11 days I call the doctor after having it taken and report in what my BP numbers were (my dad has a BP thingie that I'm borrowing and I guess Neil will be my nurse, hehe). We'll then go from there on what needs to be done next . . . I never ever thought THIS would be what's happening! At the same time, thank God it's probably nothing worse.

The BP thing is weird because other than during pregnancy, I have never had high BP in my life. It's always been perfect or below. So this is strange, but definitely explains why I have been feeling as "off" as I have!! Why the high BP, though, who knows? Could be stress. I've been under a lot of because I have had hair loss (caused by my birth control pills, another thing we had to go over at my appointment), and just so much else going on . . . been the busiest I have ever been with my work, my cat and a problem we're having with him forcing me to probably have to give him away, etc. I think it's maybe catching up with me. Or....I'm just one of those destined genetically for high BP. My dad has high BP and high cholesterol, both of which he can't control with eating and exercise because it's hereditary for him as well (he's in great shape -- very active -- eats very well -- he has tried, but it doesn't help him). His sister also has it, so did their mother, my grandma. I wish I had my mom's side of the family's genes. They seem to be much stronger.

I'm very happy. Still not feeling well because there's no magic answer for that. I will fill my script for the BP meds tomorrow and hopefully those will take effect right away. I look forward to not feeling so weird and dizzy and not myself. I've felt like I've been just "floating" and just not really "here" most of the time. It's been a weird experience. This morning I woke up with my feet tingly. It's kinda of scary when you know your heart is being affected and you can't really control it. I'm trying not to think about that or else I'll probably just make it worse being the worry-wart that I am.

I decided not to take on any weddings next year. I've turned down a 1/2 dozen calls, one at the country club of Champaign. I just think I really need the break. They wear me out during and after with all the proof work I have to do. And I really don't make all that money anyhow considering how much I spend working on a wedding as a whole. I do have one in Houston, TX, but that's it. And I'm not planning on anymore unless it's like Hawaii or something :) I think this will not only be good for me, but our family, too. I am actually really looking forward to being more "free" on weekends.

When I told the doctor about my taking no more weddings she said "noooooooo. You were going to photograph my daughter's wedding!" I said, "well, I'm always open to making exceptions and I definitely would for you." I love her. She is the best doctor I have ever had. Not because of what she said. She just is.

Neil is gone tonight to Pittsburg, so it's just me and the kids. When they go to bed I'm just going to enjoy the quietness. I really really think I need that.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. Hopefully the BP medication is the answer. Pray that it come down and that my symptoms dissolve away. The symptoms have been the scariest for me. I want this to be something that is controllable and will allow me to continue living my life. The last 2 weeks I have hardly lived.

Totally blog-worthy.

In the past week and a half, I have been out of my house twice. Last week I was feeling so poopy that I never had the energy to leave. So Saturday was my first day out in a week and it was for a very cool reason: to shoot pictures of my very lovely and beautiful sister-in-law Ashley. She wanted pictures and I had wanted to do them, so Ash, her mom, sister and myself all headed out on our photo shoot. We had so much fun and I had never seen Ash look so beautiful, cute and spunky before. I've only proofed a small handful, but of those, this one is my fave:



Isn't she adorable? She and hubby look so much alike! We did some fun shoots with her beloved Twilight Saga Series of books and also her Jonas Brothers Rolling Stones edition, as well as her cute baby blue converse and tie-dyed knee-high socks. Back when I was 13 and if I had had this opportunity, my pictures would have been with my Babysitter's Club or Judy Blume books and my latest BOP magazine with the (young version!) New Kids on the Block, and I'd be wearing my jean jacket, white keds and tight-rolled jeans (and in case you need a reminder on how to do that, check out this site). Oh how things have changed. I must say the hair styles are adorable now. What were we thinking with the feathered permed hair?!

Today I got out again. And it was a day of bravery. We met Heather to get her invitations printed, went to Starbucks, walked to Target, then I took Noah to get his hair cut (he looks so handsome by the way), and since I had a lot of time before my hair appointment at 5, we went to lunch and then I took the kids to the zoo. Neil left for Chicago this morning and would be gone overnight, so I had no reason to be home. We met Heather in the zoo and she gave us extra special treatment there as she always does (she is such a rockin' zoo keeper!).

You won't believe what I did. Well, first of all, I didn't have my camera with me because of this being a spontaneous trip, and that in itself is pretty shocking. I did, however, have my camera phone. Yay! Because, well, just look at the picture. This is what I did:



What a lifetime experience!!! I still can't believe I did it. I was soooo nervous walking in there, but soooo glad I did it. How many people can say they've petted a cheetah?! I canNOT wait to do it again and be able to bring my REAL camera this time. Such friendly beautiful amazing creatures. And the little (ha ha!) guys were purring so loudly! It was truly an amazing experience.

Then it was off to my wonderful beautician's place. I've been having issues and decided to cut all my hair off, at the same time, deciding to donate it to Pantene Pro-V's Beautiful Lengths program which is a hair donation program for women with cancer. Well, I didn't spur-of-the-moment just decide to donate it. This is why I kept growing my hair and growing my so I could one day donate it. I just never thought that "one day" would happen this quickly. I was going to wait till after Heather's wedding in September, but timing was right for me to cut it now. So I did. Well, Kim did.

It was pretty scary. I was so nervous and on the verge of tears. Kim said, "you aren't going to cry on me, are you?". I said "I'm trying not to!". She said, "would wine help you?" knowing just how incredibly stressed I was about this. I said, "um, yeah, do you have some?", and she said, "yeah, you want a glass or two?" I said "yes please!", so my wonderful friend/beautician came out with large glass of sweet red wine and that really did help. Bless her!

Deep breath.

She pulled it back and all at once, it was gone! Of course she styled it and all that jazz, and I have to say, I'm quite happy. So here's the new me:



And here's some of my locks. Wahhhh! But ultimately, I have to remember why I did this. It's still hard. Such a change!



I get my blood test results back on Thursday. Please be thinking of me. I'm so stressed out about all this . . .