If I have a monument in this world, it is my son.

- Maya Angelou

Well, if you haven’t checked out Facebook, you don’t know that we found out what baby # 3 is yesterday, .... and....we are having a BOY!! :):)
Clear as day, a boy, and my favorite shot of all. I laid down on the table and the tech said "you want to know the sex, right?". I said "yep!" and she put the doppler on my tummy and bam, there it was loud and clear right away, HIS little pee-pee. Definitely a BOY! :) The kids were very excited about this photo (what is it with anatomy?!). They both keep talking about seeing his "ding-dong" ;)

We are really shocked that we are even talking about boy parts again because both Neil and I thought it was a girl! Most of our family thought it was a girl (Chel's thinking was right-on, though!) and most of our friends also thought it was a girl (Alexis pinned it, too, and she's proud nonetheless!). I don't know if it's because of the high heart beat, my bad morning sickness and the fact that my uterus is still measuring 2 weeks ahead as it did with Maia that we all thought girl? Obviously none of that means anything! Maybe that's why the first thing we saw was his privates? He wanted to make sure we knew that he was not a girl but a bouncing baby boy :) (Oh, and the kids pinned it, too -- even Maia -- from day 1! Kids have remarkable instincts!)

He was measuring perfectly...heart with 4 chambers, all that good stuff. In 3 weeks, though, I go for an Echo of baby’s heart with a Pediatric Cardiologist. Everything should be fine, but it’s for precautionary measures with my recently diagnosed auto-immune disorders which can cause heart defects in the babies. I feel pretty good about it, though, my faith intact. I also have a low-lying placenta, something I’ve never had before. Just means MORE ultrasounds later on (not always a bad thing!). In people preparing for a vaginal birth, this means a c-section, but since I’m already having a c-section, it’s not really that big of a deal. I just have to be careful of bleeding in the meantime. Scheduled c-section will be September 17th! As for all the autoimmune stuff, everything has gone into “remission” and I am feeling the best I have felt in probably 2 years. My energy is so high and I just feel so good every day. It's a miracle. All my constant aches, pains and spasms, exhaustion, high blood pressure, everything, GONE. This pregnancy has been a Godsend. I’ve been really enjoying this pregnancy trying to milk this time for all it’s worth until it all comes back. But I'm praying for a miracle that it won't.

We are quite excited, and so are the grandparents. This is the last grandchild for Neil's parents and for my own, with my mom and dad having 3 granddaughters and 1 grandson, this will give my dad another boy to wrestle with, and with Neil's mom, she has 3 granddaughters, too, so this will also make the 2nd boy for her. For Neil's dad and Martha, they have 4 granddaughters and 1 grandson, so this will give them another boy as well filling in the gaps a tiny bit :) I think it's neat how Neil's mom and dad had two boys (no girls), and now they get two grandsons. What I find really really funny is that I remember at one point Chel saying she wanted all boys and here they have all girls. And I always imagined myself with more girls than boys, and here we're having all the boys in the family. I just love how it all works out. God really is amazing in His plans :)

Enjoy the rest of the ultrasound pics. We were VERY lucky in that the u/s tech (who I love) switched over from 3-D to 4-D imaging for a split-second and gave us a photo of Baby Strawberry so we could see him more as how he truly looks right now. It's pretty amazing. And the rest, pretty explanatory. He has long feet and legs just as Noah did. And I think he already looks uncannily like both Noah and daddy.

Can't wait to meet you, Baby!!!

Long-awaited update

It's been long enough since I posted at my more recent blog that I don't think some of you know that I'm pregnant. Way to welcome myself back with big news, hey? So now let's back up a bit.

The day I found out I was pregnant, I also found out I had Fibromyalgia and Sjogren's Syndrome. A few months before that, I found out I also had Hypothyroidism and PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome). As if my life couldn't have gotten any more complicated when we found out the news of another baby in incubation. ;) I wasn't sure whether to be excited or worried. Of course I only got very worried, excitement unable to set in.

To bring you up to my current status, I'm still pregnant. (Great big smile.) 16-1/2 weeks, to be exact. We find out the sex of the baby in 15 days (yes, I'm counting down).

The first 13 weeks were a crazy roller coaster filled with mostly the big downs. I was super sick, losing about 10 lbs. I was extremely exhausted, not just because of the pregnancy, but also because of my illnesses, well, and then the fact that I was also mothering two pre-school-aged children. It was very hard. I've had one bout of major pain lasting about a week. When I have the bouts of pain, it's hard to function. My arms, legs, feet, elbows, upper back all hurt. (When I say "hurt", it feels just like body aches when you have the flu, only worse. So sit back and imagine that. It's not fun.) I get spasms throughout my body and limbs go numb. I also get really exhausted and just need to sleep, but as all us mothers know, that's nearly impossible. So I just bite my tongue through the pain, try and parent the best I can, and do what I can to just get through another day (all the while complaining and crying to Neil every waking minute he's here -- he's my rock). Thankfully that just lasted about a week. Things have pretty much been in remission since then. Knock-on-wood. I would be quite happy if I could make it the rest of the pregnancy without anymore bouts. Actually, I would be ecstatic.

On the plus side, baby is doing quite well. S/he is growing on time and then some. S/he is measuring 2 weeks ahead (something we'll get more concerned with as time goes on) and his/her heart rate has been nice and high. Now I'm feeling kicks and movements constantly which is reassuring and wonderful. I have missed those kicks...something you hope to never forget once you're not pregnant, but when you are again, you welcome back that feeling with open arms because you forgot how great the real thing felt.

The first few weeks were tough. Not just because I was so sick but because it was a very risky time. I saw my doctor every 2 weeks and had 4 ultrasounds in that time. We went into the pregnancy thinking I was going to miscarry, but s/he came through for me! Making it to the 13 week point was such a huge huge milestone. I have now "graduated" to just every 4-week appointments.

Now we're just waiting anxiously for the next appointment, hoping we get good news from the level II ultrasound which will tell us a lot about the baby's health. I'm very nervous about that. I am taking a lot of drugs and while I know they are deemed safe, it is still scary to put anything questionable in your body when you're carrying a baby.

In other areas of our life... Neil is working hard and traveling a LOT. He got another new responsibility at work and so far that has meant he travels much more. Not my cup of tea, especially during pregnancy. I am hoping he'll get it out of his system before baby arrives. I'll need him much more then. But in the last 3 weeks he has been to New York City, San Antonio, Geneva, Switzerland, and Paris, France. Tomorrow he leaves for Chicago. Based on his pictures, I really hope to get to go to Switzerland with him sometime. Looks gorgeous and a place I'd love to document with my own photography.

I signed Noah up last week for kindergarten. That was hard. On me. I sat in the car and took a few deep breaths and held back tears before heading in. It was just such a big step in his/my life. It means reading, writing, tying shoes, losing teeth, and going full-days at school. My baby is a big boy now. It's hard to come to that realization some days, especially on the day of registration.

Maia is also signed up for next year, pre-school. She'll go every day, half days. She's very very ready and I'm ready for her. (It's so much easier to let go of her versus Noah and I'm not sure why that is, but it is.) She already knows her teacher quite well and a handful of her classmates. I know she will do very well and I'm thrilled for her. She'll have a much better time getting to go to school every day than spending the mornings with mommy and baby. It will also be good for baby and me to have this one-on-one time together. Ultimately will make it easier for all I hope.

In my photography world, to be honest, I've been very slow. After Christmas, most sittings stopped, and I have no weddings booked for 2009 (something I did on purpose and am very excited about). Not being busy has been a Godsend as I don't think I could have done anything, even if asked to, the past 4 months. Now that spring is peeking out it's head, people are getting the itch for photos, so my months ahead are booking up. I love family and baby/child sittings. While I adore weddings, I feel I can be more creative and have much more fun with smaller shoots. Not to mention I get MUCH more time with my family.

A few months ago I was offered a job through a graphic design firm in Decatur to work for them doing specific photo shoots every month. They kind of interviewed me and I got to see and hear exactly what they wanted from me. I was excited with what I saw and the girls at the firm were excited with what they saw in my work. (Yay!) So, now that the magazine is finally starting up, I can talk about it! It's called "Thrive" and it's about Decatur (and surrounding areas) focusing on the good and positive about Decatur (especially night life and recreation; Decatur's reputation isn't that wonderful to outsiders, even some insiders) and highlighting those positive things on a monthly basis. I am, and will be, the main photographer documenting these things! My first "job" begins this month and the first publication will be out in June. I am very very excited. A great way to expand my work portfolio, have a steady stream of moolah coming in, and it will give me the chance to open myself up more. I tend to stay in this nice little bubble most of the time and I think I need to get out more :)

I was also contacted at the beginning of the year about my "Informant" movie photos. This magazine "Illinois Country Living" has decided to do a special issue dedicated to the movie and will be published in September when the movie comes out. They've chosen my photos for the article as well as the COVER photo!! They interviewed me, too, and I'm kinda nervous about that part, hoping they won't publish any of it. ;) I think I had some pretty corny answers. It's hard to come up with clever stuff! But, ultimately, I am soooo excited and hope to get a few copies to hand out to those of you who love me most ;)

Well, I will end this post for now. I have a feeling it's already WAY more than what you were hoping for. I guess that's what you get when you don't see "me" anymore and my blog doesn't see you. Sorry for the hiatus. I've missed you all a lot. I'm also going to update Grandma's Diary. I've been getting lots of slack from my mom and Great Aunt...in very nice subtle ways ;)

Lots of love ~ Val

And Baby Makes Three . . . Plus Pooch!

I know it's been a while. So busy. So busy. Who isn't, though? Lots of excitement, one of them being . . . . .

Drumroll . . . .



My dear friend, Johanna, IS PREGNANT!!!!

Okay, okay, so I've known about it for a while . . . she actually told me in secrecy in May and I didn't tell a soul. Not a soul. Her husband's family and my husband's family are inter-related and you know how things travel though the air :c) She just wanted to be definitely sure that things were okay with the baby. She knows what I went through and what her friend, Mika, has went through and how you just can't take a + sign on a pregnancy test for granted. And she hasn't. She's amazingly held in her excitment for a while now.

Jo and Jason . . .two people who are so deserving of a little precious miracle. I, for one, and ELATED for them. And you will be, too, when you read her new blog. She's been blogging since she found out and it's just the cutest little blog EVER. Once you read one entry, you will be hooked. She's so cute in her blog and this cuteness is so her. That is how she is, cute, sweet, funny . . . I'm so honored that she is one of my closest friends. She's a pretty amazing woman and will be one heck of a mother. :c)

Now wish her some congrats here or at her blog. She'll be tickled pink if you did (I think it's a girl!).

Trail Mix - and tons and tons of Trix

Neil was gone this week traveling to Atlanta, and anytime he is gone, I really don't get much accomplished, hence why I haven't posted. I've also been spending a ton of time in the car driving back and forth to town where my chiropractor is. I'm not sure how much longer I can do that because I'm spending an extra $100 a month just on gas, not to mention the actual cost of my visits. I love my doc and I love seeing Beth 2-3 times a week, but but but . . . I don't know. It's just a ton of driving.

But I'm not posting to complain but to post some happy trail mix bits about my past week. It's definitely been a good week. Let's start with last weekend . . .

It was warm. Very warm. The nicest day we had seen so far this year. (Today it snowed!) We bought a new outdoor table to go with the outdoor chairs we had purchased last year, so we set all that out while Noah "raked" the yard, as you can see here,

and the little miss was on the lookout for bugs. She's so into bugs right now!

Frankie really enjoyed the weekend, too. And aren't her pearly whites beautiful?! We had her teeth cleaned professionally a few weeks ago for the first time ever and they look so good and I know she feels sooooo much better. See how perty?

I think I have mentioned before that my parents are looking to sell their house and buy a new one. Well, they've been getting their house ready for about a year now. Suddenly a (perfect) house just came along and mom went alone to check it out. She loved it. So the kids and I went with her to see it again the first of the week. I loved it, too. The kids adored it. It seemed too perfect for them but there was a lot of "buts" and "ifs" involved. However, dad agreed to see it near the end of the week and THAT NIGHT he just threw out an offer and the people TOOK IT! Today they signed some papers and in less than 2 weeks, they can move in! I'm sooooo happy and excited for them!! I just can't explain how happy I am for them. The deserve it so so much. Congrats mom and dad!

On the way to see the new house that day I drove into this. While it didn't amount to anything bad, it sure was a pretty picture I couldn't keep from taking.
If you didn't know what Illinois looked like, well, there you have it!

Thursday the kids and I made brownies for daddy's return home. Brownies are his favorite and the kids (and myself) love licking the bowls!

Friday night we drove up to Peoria, IL to visit two pairs of great friends of ours, Kristin & Chris and Andrea & Rusty. To make a long long story short, Andrea, Rusty and their family are moving sometime soon to El Paso, TX. We don't want them to go, but well, what can we do but be super happy for them because it's a really good move for their family. So we went up to visit them just in case their move is soon and we don't see them again for a long while (*sob*). We had homemade yummy pizza, salad, dessert and wine :c) Kristin, Rusty, Neil and I went to grade school through high school together and then Rusty, Neil and I went on to college together. Rusty and Andrea started dating and she and I became super great friends. Then Rus and Andrea moved to P-town and she and Kristin got to be good friends. Anyway, it's all so very cool. It's been an incredible blessing having Andrea in my life. I can't imagine her not in it. And then Kristin, well, I think it says a lot that after what seems like a gizillion years, we're still the best of friends. So here we are, Kristin, Andrea and I.
Kristin has a boy, Jackson, who just turned a year and has another baby on the way. Andrea has a girl, Audrie, who is 3 and Anderson who is 6 months. And you all know who belongs to me! We had such a great time Friday night.

Then Saturday evening I set up my backdrop and lights for my shoot with Corie on Sunday. Well, the kids wanted to help with that. Maia put on her ballerina tutu and the kids actually wanted me to take some pictures. They didn't have to twist my arm or anything either!

So the shoot with Corie and Keith went so fabulously perfect. I've had the pleasure of taking pictures of both of them many a times, so this was just another very fun time for me with a couple of my favorite two people, plus this time, one more (!) because of the bun in her oven! :c) We had such a fun maternity session because of Keith making us constantly laugh. I've only had a couple minutes to peek at the pictures and then allow you have a peek, too. Isn't Corie beautiful!?

The ice cream pose is one of my favorite ideas ever! I wish I could patent it . . . hehe. I love how it turned out but if I were to do it again, I'd put her in a color because the white on white really fades into each other but I still really love the concept and how it turned out.

Thanks, Cor, for such a great day and for coming back up from St. Louis for ME!!

Once my lights and backdrops were put up, I helped hubby unload the groceries which he and the kids got while I did the shoot with C & K. Noah wanted the "Trix" opened, so I opened them for him. A few minutes later I hear "oh-oh" and a huge spill. I turn around and see this. It absolutely could be worse. It was a great week, spilled trix and all :c)

Missy-Poo, I love you!

My baby girl . . . she is a year older today. She is 2.

So many things are reminding me of 2 and 4 years ago, when I was pregant with my little dootles. Not just the fact that it's the week they were born, but because so many of my friends are having their babies or announcing their pregnancies or coming around me with their big ol beautiful bellies.

It's bittersweet because I absolutely loved being pregnant. I loved the kicks that I felt, even the ones that kept me awake at night, and believe it or not, those kicks never ever kept me from sleeping. I slept very well during my pregnancies (except towards the end, of course) and those kicks were theapeutic for me. They kept my heart and soul from worries . . . kept me knowing that my babies were okay. If my babies hadn't kicked and hiccuped like they did inside my belly, I would have gone ballistic.

I loved how I looked being pregnant. I loved being able to show off my belly because for once I felt it was beautiful. I loved the glow I had. I loved how my hair and skin and fingernails were stronger and more radiant. I loved that I got boobs.
Me, about to have my baby, and Jen, 6 months (exactly) behind me, pregnant and beautiful.

Of course there were things that I hated, like the high blood pressure (I was pre-eclampsic with Noah) in both pregnancies, the sciatic nerve pain, the weight gain (over 45 lbs with both my kids!) and my forgetfulness (like forgetting to take the pump nozzle out of my gas tank, then driving away and pulling the hose off the pump and driving over it --- yes, I did that), but I dealt with those things just fine. I love love loved being pregnant. I'd do it again. But I can't. Doctors orders.

So my birth, with Maia, not easy either. I had a doula (Leann, my angel and my forever friend!) and she was amazing. She helped get me through 31 (yes, 31) hours of labor. I went overnight with labor and could have gone into another night, but after a sonogram shortly after my epidural, it showed that probably nothing was going to get Maia's head engaged. She wanted to come out and her heart rate was going down. After 31 hours she was getting tired and I was getting tired. So we (all together) decided to take her by c-section before it became a true emergency again like it was with Mr. Noah.

I was awake this time. Of course my arms were strapped down and what I remember most is that feeling of having to throw up and feeling so very hot and sweaty because of the anesthesia. I remember the nurses saying "go ahead and throw up", but I couldn't. I remember Neil sitting behind my head. I remember the doctor saying "look at that hair" and I remember the nurses all guessing her weight before they pulled her out. (They were guessing 9 lbs and the doctor guessed 8 lbs 13 oz. She ended up being 8 lbs 3 oz.) I remember them bringing my baby girl to me and showing her to me. I could not hold her. I could not see her being cleaned off. I had to go down into recovery. So again, my birth experience sucked, but what could I do? At least she came safely to us and what I did experience was 1,000 times better than what I experienced with Noah.

But then I still didn't get to hold her for 2 whole days. Can you imagine? It was really rough. So she remained nameless for 2 days also. They thought she had a severe heart defect. After numerous tests with doctors in Peoria, they found that she has a boot-shaped heart, but nothing that will affect her -- we hope and pray. So they took her off oxygen and the feeding tubes and the heart monitors and we finally, finally, got to hold her.The closest photographic memory I have of either of my children being cleaned up after birth. Then she gets swiped away to Level II :(

And now today, all that is just a memory, but a very strong memory. Another one to make me, and our family, stronger. And future memories I have I hope will be even stronger. She is my 2nd little miracle. She is my baby girl. She is my princess. I love her more than words can say. And today, I wish her a very happy 2nd birthday. I am just amazed at what we have been through to get our children, but I'm even more amazed . . . incredibly blessed . . .just to have them here. It's all been a miracle.

Love you, Missy-Poo. Happy Birthday!

Baby Maia and mommy with grandpa. He passed 1 year ago. We really really miss him.

4 years ago today . . .

. . . a baby boy was born, and his name was Noah.

Noah was born at 10:52 p.m. via true emergency c-section. It was one of the scariest days of my life.

After 10 hours of labor, I had had enough and had an epidural. Just minutes after the epi, Noah's heart rate shot down, around the 40's, and the nurses were concerned. Sometimes all it takes is to turn mamma over on a different side so that she is not laying on important blood vessels, but that did not work for this mamma. It would not come back up for anything and they got very concerned. They called my doctor and he said to take me to emergency "stat" (first time I had ever heard that word in real life). I was starting to freak. Next thing I know I'm being wheeled down the hallways to surgery. After this all I remember is the nurses putting a mask on me and lots of touching going on around my belly. I don't remember anything after this because I was put completely out. Neil was not even allowed in the room. (That's still hard to take knowing he was outside the operating room and not able to be with me or our new baby.) :(

Thankfully, Noah was born healthy, weighing 6 lbs 10 oz. The doctor still reminds me today that he saved Noah's life. He said he's never drove so fast to the hospital before, running numerous red lights. He was there in 6 minutes. (He told me later that he has true emergency c-sections twice a year at most.) The nurses had already began opening me up. Which is why my scarring today is so bad and why my doctor thinks having more children is not a highly recommended thing (and today that's after having had 2 emergency c-sections). My recovery was also quite intense because of the very quick incision to get Noah out. I was to be on bed rest for 6 weeks, never to go in the car or do any exercise. I really couldn't do anything much for the first 4 weeks. It was weeks before I could stand up to take a shower. I had one of those chairs that sit in the shower to take my showers with. It was that painful for me to stand up. But, I really didn't care because I knew how much of a miracle baby Noah was. In more than one way.
Right after I first got to hold my boy. I'm still pretty out of it . . . which is probably apparent.
What a sweet, perfect boy.
And this is daddy changing one of his first ever diapers. Awwww . . .

So many of you know, but many of you do not, that we tried having a baby for 3 years. In that time period I got pregnant 3 times and lost 3 babies. I got OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation twice and on bed rest for 2 weeks, was on fertility drugs), saw a Reproductive Endocrinologist for 2 years, had numerous tests, attempted IUI twice, among other things. It was the longest 3 years of my life. My first loss was at 12 weeks. And that was the hardest day of my life, hearing the news that my baby was not living. It felt like some dream (nightmare) that I was going to wake up from. Those 3 years were not easy; actually, the hardest thing I have ever been through. And then we had Noah. Another very scary time. My recovery in the "dungeon" all alone was over 2 hours long because I had to wake up from anesthesia and then get my bearing straight. When they finally wheeled me up to my room where my family waited and they handed me my baby all cleaned up (I missed all of that, as did Neil), I remember still being out-of-it, but I was enough "with it" to cry. I was very emotional before I even got to my room because I knew I had had my baby but did not even know what he looked like and they told me he was healthy, but I wanted to see that for myself, and well, the emotions were just more than I could handle.

We knew at 5-1/2 weeks that we were pregnant again by what the u/s showed and the pregnancy seemed to be viable, but we didn't know for certain till we went back for this u/s at 8 weeks, and Alexis was with me for this one. One of the best moments of my life. Look at that HEARTBEAT! (Something I had never ever seen before; it was amazing.)
Me and Nat at a wedding I shot when I was 16 weeks pregnant.
This picture was taken on a polaroid so the quality isn't too spectacular . . but I'm 20 weeks here.
And this was about 2 weeks before I had Noah . . . at the pumpkin patch. How appropriate since I looked like I was carrying one in my shirt!

I had a difficult time nursing him. He just did not take to it, but I was adamant to do it and do it for as long as possible even if he wasn't a champ nurser and even if it was painful for me. So I did. For 5-1/2 months. But during that time, Noah was also colic - for 8-1/2 months, and that was a pretty hard time. For both Neil and I. There were many many times I didn't think I was cut out to be a mother and there were times I was asking myself if I should give him back. Nothing seemed to be going "right" and he wasn't an easy baby, and he didn't sleep through the night till he was well over a year. Actually, he was about 2.

As the time passes, I realize how special Noah is. The love I have for him just exceeds what I ever thought I could hold for a child. And having gone through what I did -- the infertility to his birth, almost losing him to Noah's colic-ness -- really honestly did make me stronger. It made me appreciate my husband more. It made me appreciate the gift of parenting and the gift of children and the gift of life. I questioned many times whether I was cut out to be a mother. But there are moments that make me know I was meant to be one, and meant to be one to this amazing little boy.
Our family when Noah was 6 months old.
Mommy and her boy.

Today, as I walked Noah into his school, every kid and teacher in the school was standing there waiting for him to enter, and when he did, all immediately bolted out happy birthday ending with his teacher saying "God gave us a special boy and his name is Noah". That moment reinforced any sort of questions I may have had about my ability to be a mom and be a good mom, because Noah stood there radiating with happiness and smiles. He was proud to be alive and proud to be a birthday boy and it made his mommy very very proud to the point that tears did not stop. It was such a little moment, but it was an overwhelming one. Those feelings, and his appreciation of them singing, made me feel like I'm doing something right raising my boy.

Noah is so incredibly special. I love him so much. He has been the biggest gift and lesson in my life. He makes me so happy and so proud and today I wish my beautiful 4-year old boy, a true gift from Heaven, a very happy birthday.

Love you, baby boy. (And as Noah says "I'm not a baby, I'm NOAH.")

Sand box messes & Reminiscing

I think Maia is trying to wean herself out of her naps. Some days I find her fighting me to go down, even 3 hours past the time she normally takes a nap, and other days she goes down perfectly, like today.

Yesterday was one of those days where she would not go down. She "talked" in her bed for an hour before I finally got her out. So instead of sleeping yesterday afternoon, she played.

We have a sand box at this house and the kids love it. Because of the messes that it creates, after they are done playing in it I always immediately take them to the bath. Yesterday was another sand box afternoon.

As soon as they were done in the sandbox, Noah went next door with his new little best friends, Lucas, 5, and Brevin, 4. He is in safe hands with Nikki, so I left him over there and gave Maia her bath.

After her bath she decided she wanted "on the couch" to watch "Bunge-bob" with her "towel" (she strangely loves towels). So I did. I went to clean up a few things in the house and came back 5 minutes later with clothes to put on her and I found her like this:Curled up on the couch . . . naked. It was 5:00 when I found her like this, so needless to say, she didn't sleep long. It was a long night for her last night without a much needed nap (we had mom's group in the morning and she played there, too). Neil did great putting up with her grouchy-ness while I worked.

So I've been reminiscing a lot the last week or so. This weather makes me remember being pregnant. I was very pregnant with both my kids this time of year in 2003 and 2005. Noah was born on the 15th, and Maia on the 18th. I remember going to the pumpkin patch both years very preggo and even shooting weddings, both years, the first weekend in October (38 weeks pregnant and swelling like you wouldn't believe). That was rough. Really rough. Thank God for patient clients and great friends like Mike, Nora & Heather.

Last year I wasn't able to reminisce too much. Grandpa was sick. Very sick. A year ago today he was in the nursing home. It was just last August that he went to the doctor where they found he had an intestinal cancer. So so quickly after that he went down hill.

I'm having a difficult time right now as I think about him a lot right now. I tried to visit him every couple days in the nursing home. Maia and Noah went with me a lot, also. It was hard. But I'm so glad I did it as often as I did.

Anyway, because grandpa was so on my mind every day, I didn't think much about the prior Octobers or even think about my children's birthdays. I was suppose to have a Halloween party last year and 2 kid birthday parties. They all sorta failed. They'll never remember that, and I'm not upset about it. More than anything I wanted to be there for grandpa. I knew I would not have him this year. I knew he wasn't going to make it. I knew I had to get ready for that. All parties and reminiscing could wait.

So this year I reminisce a lot. I remember all of the last 4 Octobers very very well:

4 Octobers ago I was very pregnant with Noah.
3 Octobers ago we celebrated my first child's 1st birthday -- and grandpa was there. I still remember it like yesterday. What a great celebration!
2 Octobers ago, Maia was born.
And last October grandpa died.

On a happy, funny, oh-my-gosh-look-at-Val note, this is what I looked like just 2 years ago:
Yeah, I was big.

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Miss you all still as I try to put my life back in order. Hope to be back sooner than later. Happy October!!

Re-posting ~ pregnancy advice

My friend, Corie, posted a funny entry in her blog today. You'll have to go check it out. Made me laugh. It also got me to thinking about a blog entry I posted a while ago at my old Yahoo 360 account which I don't think anyone ever read but Alexis (love you for being so loyal to me, AJ!). So I thought, hey, I'll post this certain past post entry on pregnancy over here and maybe even post some of my others for memories-sake in the days to come just because I might not have anything else to talk about. (I know you are thinking "yeah, right, Val" as you roll your eyes.) So here is my post from June 2006 which I had originally written for my two at-the-time preggie friends, Katie and Kristin. Maybe those of you thinkin' to have babies will be able to benefit from this. If not, well then it's just more useless information.

Great news!! Two very good friends of mine are pregnant! Katie, a friend of mine from "nerd" camp the summer after my 8th grade year (she was chosen to be my roommate), and Kristin, a friend from 7th grade on (it's been 18 years - wow!).

I'm so excited for each of them because they deserve to become mothers. They are going to be so wonderful at it. There are no two people more deserving of good things than Katie and Kristin. Katie is due in October (very near Noah and Maia's birthdays, and Katie's own birthday as well) and Kristin is due in January. I told Kristin that one day when she got pregnant, I'd probably have all kinds of advice or words of wisdom for her. So after she told me her great news, I compiled a list of things I wish I had known. Things doctors don't always tell you, things some books don't even tell you! So this list is for both of you. Love you and hope you enjoy.

Val's List of Pregnancy Things You Should Know:

* Things grow faster. Your nails grow faster and are stronger and your hair grows faster (and falls out less). Both two very positive things, I think!

* They say you shouldn't eat deli meat. I never did with Noah, but craved it when pregnant with Maia and broke the rules. Nothing happened, I was fine. My suggestion is to just go with your gut feeling on this, as with most things.

* You'll probably forget things during pregnancy, especially the simplest tasks. It's ok. But just don't do what I did but learn from me. Don't forget to take the gas pump out of your gas tank, turn the car on, and then leave. That's not a good thing, believe me.

* Not everyone gets stretch marks. They say it's a genetic thing, and that rang true for me. I didn't get them, but I did get other things some don't...like 'roids. EEK. Not fun. Call me if you get them. I have more advice on this topic!

* Your veins will get darker and bigger, all because of the increase of blood flow. This can cause all kinds of things to happen. Your eyesight can worsen, you can get (and probably have gotten) dizzy, and nose bleeds are common. I had nosebleeds almost every day. FYI - always carry extra tissues with you - especially when walking. I seemed to always get them when I went on walks. Thankfully it was fall when I got the majority of mine so I was able to use leaves when I didn't have tissues handy. He.

* One of the best things I feel I did for myself during my 2nd pregnancy was hire a doula. She was fabulous. I would do it again, too. I'd love to discuss how she benefited both myself and Neil if you're interested.

* When you read the pregnancy books, DO NOT SKIP OVER (or even skim) the c-section part. I never ever thought I would have a c-section and so I never read about them. I should have. It would have helped me emotionally, mentally and physically get through it had I read it and been educated on it. It would have also helped Neil know what I was going through when he wasn't even able to be in the delivery room with me. Read it please!

* Another great decision I made was to use a birthing ball during labor. It made my contractions less intense. I tried lots of different positions and the ball was the best. Also, don't lay flat on your back during labor. It makes it so much worse, especially if you have back labor. Get out of bed if you can. That's the best thing. But if you absolutely have to be in bed, stay laying on your side. (Spoken from someone who has been in over 40 hours of labor total!)

* Another serious note. If you are given the choice whether to be induced or not, don't be. Pitocin is really rough. I feel like in both pregnancies, the pitocin made my contractions so intense so quickly that it's the reason for putting both my babies into distress. You don't want that if you can keep from it.

* Take advantage of people ooo'ing and ahh'ing over your pregnant body. The attention will soon be taken away from you. So take advantage of people admiring your belly, admiring your pretty complexion, holding doors open for you, giving you their seat in the waiting rooms, and so on. It's those small moments that you really have to cherish. So have fun with it.

After I had the babies, I wish I had known...

...that you lose a large amount of hair a few months after birth (Enough for you to notice and enough for you to have some bald patches - yes, I'm not kidding - so be thankful, both of you, that you have nice thick hair!)

...that I actually *would* be able to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes! I never ever thought I would based on people telling me that I wouldn't. Granted, it took 9 months for me to do that, but it also took me 9 months for my belly to expand to what it was. So if you put your mind to it, you can do it too! (So don't do like I did and sell all your pre-pregnancy clothes!)

...that breast feeding is *not* as easy as it looks, but it's worth EVERY penny - every sore nipple, every engorgement, every plugged duct. It's really worth it, so don't give up. And if you need help or support or just a lending ear through the first few weeks, please know that I'm here for you! (It took me 6 weeks with Noah to get the hang of it and 3 with Maia.)

...that you can't be afraid to ask if you ever have questions. Whether it's medical advice or just a mom-to-mom question, never hesitate to pick up the phone. You can easily get tired and go a little crazy as a new mama!

...that having your baby use a pacifier is OK! And when it comes to orthodontics, it's actually better to use a pacifier versus sucking the thumb.

...that co-sleeping is ok, as well as using the car seat as a bed for the baby when you need to. Always do what you feel is best for you, the baby and your family as a whole.

...that (on the funny side of things) you will use the word "poop" and "pee-pee" a lot in adult conversations. You will. Trust me. *smile*

...that it's OK to let the baby cry sometimes. Especially when you're at your wits end and you can't figure out why the baby is crying, as long as he/she isn't hurt, set them down, walk out the room and take some deep breaths. Believe me, it's so worth it and you'll be glad you did.

I'm sure I will add to this list as time goes on, but hopefully this will start you off well with one mother to another advice. Happy pregnancy! Enjoy it because it's goes entirely too fast. I miss the kicks the most. That's one thing you cannot reinact no matter what you do. So really savor those moments.

Katie had her baby in October - little Miss Rachel K, and Kristin had her baby just two weeks ago, little Mr Jack L. Who knows if my "words of wisdom" were enlightening or beneficial for them at all, but at least I enjoyed reminscing - on most accounts, anyway. Haha.

Anyone else want to add to my lists?

Reminiscing

I am in a blogging frenzy today! Leave it to my 4 cups of coffee and Kristin's exciting news!

When I was talking to Kristin, she told me her birth story and kept saying "now I know how you felt with Maia", and it all really took me down memory lane. It was 14 months ago that I was in her shoes. We had a very similar L&D experience except that hers ended in natural birth and mine ended in c-section. Anyhow, I thought I'd share some of my own memories since they are so fresh in my mind today. I can't WAIT to see Kristin and her new bundle of pure joy.

My "sis" Michelle and I preggie together.

Me, hard at work, at one of my weddings. Nice expression, eh?!

One of the profesional pics that my good friend, Mike Judge, took of us when I was 33 weeks preggie

And me, a few days before having Miss Maia Lizzy! I felt like a pumpkin at this point!

Me and my most fabulous doula in the entire world, Leann. Yeah, I know I am brave for putting this picture up, but it's still a memory in my life before bringing my own bundle of joy into this world. (I look so hot because this was after 30 hours of labor! 1 hour of labor to go and the c-section will finally happen - what a looooong 2 days!) And, I'm just feeling brave these days . . .

And finally, Maia Elizabeth, right after she was born. Daddy took this picture. It would then be 2 days before we actually got to hold her. They thought she had a major heart condition. Turned out she is just special with a "boot-shaped" heart!

Thankfully, pregancy for me, is a distant memory, and one that will stay a memory! No more gigantic bellies and swollen arms, legs and feet for me!