I interrupt the voting to cry . . .

It has not been a good day today so far. I need some other mommies to make me feel better.

Noah has been having troubles going to school and today was yet another one of those days. But probably the worst thus far.

He was fine getting in the car, and while on our 5 minute ride in the car to school he was okay, too. He did say a few times that he didn't want to go to school today. (I ignored him.) Then we got to school and as I was getting him ready to get out of the car I overheard another parent tell their child that "today's picture day!" and in panic mode I look into Noah's book bag (because I hadn't done it yet -- to be honest, I don't normally -- I am oblivious to how being a mommy to a child in school works, so I don't usually do that) and of course there are like a dozen papers in his bag, all mostly things from the school and one of them was a form for school pictures which indeed ARE TODAY and the form was suppose to have been turned in yesterday. Ugh. I am such a bad mom. I just haven't got the hang of this stuff yet.

Noah looked nothing like the other children. They had on pretty dresses and button-up shirts. Noah has a big goose egg bump on his head from literally running into the wall a few nights ago. And I put a wrinkled t-shirt on him and didn't try and make his hair look any better. (And why would I? He just plays at school and usually gets messy or dirty.) He didn't want to be there, so his eyes were red from the urges he had to just start sobbing. And now that I'm gone, I know that his eyes will definitely be red in the pictures . . . he may even be crying in the pictures . . . or worst case, not even in them at ALL. Which is probably the most likely scenario since he absolutely HATES having his pictures taken, and that really stinks for his mother who is a photographer! (Sigh.)

So that's how my day began.

He wouldn't follow directions for me or his teacher. His friends came to console him and he just pushed them away! My son pushed them away. Makes me so sad because I feel like I'm one of the most compassionate people around and I welcome compassion from others, yet he wants nothing to do with it. At all.

I walked him up to his room, hoping that would help. That was probably the worst decision for me to have made. He did walk up with me, but when we got in the room he broke out into a bloody murder crying fit with tears rolling down his eyes and couldn't catch his breath because he was getting that upset.

His teacher, who I LOVE, and still do, said probably the worst thing to me. She said, "honey, he's really still just a baby" and then gives me a big hug. Um, okay, well what mother would just LEAVE HER CRYING BABY WHO IS SCREAMING "MOMMMMMMY"? I know she was trying to console me, but it only made me feel worse, like maybe I shouldn't even have my "baby" in school yet.

So I did leave, with him chasing after me. His teacher followed, but wasn't quick enough. He fell to the floor sobbing. I just kept going and did look back which was the worst thing I could do. To see him the way he was makes me cry now thinking about it. I know school is great for him and his teachers are wonderful and his friends are the most caring little people. But that doesn't mean it's not hard for him . . . or me.

I called Neil right away. And then Leann called me, like she almost knew I was having a bad morning even though I hadn't seen her yet. And then I called mom. And then Leann called me back again. I do feel a little better, but man, it's hard. I know others of you have probably had struggles. I just want people to tell me this is normal and that we're doing the right thing with him and could you also please tell me there will soon be a rainbow emerging out of this (what seems to be every day that we go to school) event that continues to take place. I just can't see one right now. And did I mention that I just feel like a bad mommy? I know I'm not, but I feel like it right now and it's hard to just magically make feelings like this go away just like that. :c(

discipline with a (tiring weak little) "d"

I don't really want to post this, but I need help, so I might as well be honest. (And bear with me . . . I'm adding this in later after I see how long this ends up being. Obviously this means I needed to "talk"!)

Ever since Neil got home from being gone, Noah has been acting out big time. I'm not sure what it is, but it's seriously bringing me over the edge. He was so so so good for me the past two weeks. Now I am wondering what happened.

Perfect scenario:

This morning I was sitting at my computer, the kids were being quite good playing together. I say to Noah, "hey, let's go to the mall and buy you some new clothes for school!". He says "Ok-aaaay!!!", really excitedly. I said, "You must be good for mommy. Maia needs to hold your hand. Make sure she stays close. If you guys are good, we'll get some art supplies for home and maybe we'll stop by the cookie store". He says to me, "Okay, mom!" (He's suddenly only calling me mom. Not mommy, but mom. I hate it. I'm not ready for that yet!)

So he's sooooo good on the way to town. We hold hands going into the mall. We get to the store and he starts running around. Of course Maia follows every single thing Noah does, so then I have two on the loose in a big store. We just leave. He gives me no choice.

I'm not making our 20-minute drive to town a total waste. So we try again! This time we head to Baby Gap to check their sales.

It's not a large store, but still, he goes straight for the clothes racks and run through them, stands on things he's not suppose to, etc., etc. (Okay, seriously, he is not acting like a maniac child or anything but he does not listen to my rules, and at the age of almost 4, where he's starting pre-school, he needs to follow the rules, don't you think?) Little Miss Copycat does the same thing. She will NOT behave well if he doesn't. I stress over and over how he needs to set a good example for her. How she needs him to teach her how to be a good boy. (Sometimes he's for that, sometimes not.)

Am I doing/saying something wrong because THIS TACTIC IS NOT WORKING!?

While in Baby Gap, I don't ignore him, even though I'd like to pretend like he and Maia are not my children, but I grab him, tell him he gets one more chance and if he continues acting like that, we're leaving. "You get nothing for behaving like this", I said. He said "okay". (It must be too much to ask for your almost 4-year old to stand by you! Or is it? I don't know. Someone tell me!) But then 10 seconds later, he's off again and then so is Maia. So we leave.

I grab Maia, we walk out. Noah follows way behind. I am so angry I just want to cry. At this point he is crying. People are staring at him and at me like I'm the worst parent on the face of this Earth because I am letting my kid walk 5 yards behind me sobbing. Well, what am I suppose to do?!?!

We had a similar experience twice this past weekend. Noah finally met the neighbor boys. There are 3 of them, ages 22 months, 4 and 5. He was playing with them for probably 2 hours. It was time to come home. He didn't want to. Neil asked him to nicely, and he refused. So Neil picked him up and brought him home literally kicking and screaming. He kept trying to get out of the house for about 5 minutes until he was too worn out to try anymore. He finally calmed down and we explained to him that when we ask him to come home, it's time to come home. That the neighbor boys need to eat dinner and so do we. The only thing Noah could think about the rest of the night were his new "friends". I know he probably was just really excited, and I understand that. But he can be excited and happy yet still follow mommy and daddy's requests and rules, right? Disappointingly, the same thing happened the next day also.

This time Neil said he had 5 more minutes to play, then he had to come home for dinner. He didn't say anything but we knew he heard us. 5 minutes, actually 10 minutes later, we told him he had to come home, and again, he refused. After about 30 minutes of crying and pouting and saying we were "mean", we told him he could not see his friends then on Sunday. We took his two favorite things away the rest of the night. Obviously these ways were/are not working! Or are they? I don't feel that they are.

So today, I get home and pull out the Dr. Sears Discipline Book. I'm so so so afraid I'm doing something wrong as a mommy. My biggest fear is that whatever I'm doing is going to hurt him in some way or affect him for the rest of his life. Part of me feels I'm doing right, and the other feels like I'm all lost and turned around. What do you do?

I need help. And I'm not embarrassed to say I need help. I'd rather admit I need it and nip this in the bud now rather than later or never at all. And maybe it's not a problem. Maybe this is normal. Maybe it's not. Heck, what is normal??? Is there a normal?

He starts school Friday. I don't want to be one of those parents who gets a call from the teacher. And, the teeny tiny feeling of positive-thinking I have inside me says that maybe he'll be fine. He's normally very very good. But, on the other hand, I guess this is just all part of being a parent and learning more about ourselves, our children and about life. But it sucks. I need some advice from my well-traveled wise mothering friends and followers. Please?

Happy Birthday to me. (Not.)

I should be in the car right now driving Noah and myself to Ohio to see our dearest friends. But I am not. And that is because Noah is sick. Yep, he is sick. Puking his guts out sick. Started throwing up about 2 a.m. and still is now at 9:20. Can't keep down Children's Pepto, water or Pedialyte. Has nothing in his system so he keeps throwing up foamy goo. He has a slight fever, too. Maia is fine, thank God.

This sucks. Really really badly. Alexis has already left and is past Virginia. She can't turn back now. I have never felt so disappointed before. Makes me cry. I feel so bad for my baby boy, but I also feel bad for Alexis and Sami. I keep praying this this will be over in a couple hours so that we can still leave. I was so so so looking forward to this time for AJ & I, and also for Noah & Sami. They deserve this time, so do we, and it's not going to happen very often when they live in North Carolina and she has to travel through and around mountains to get anywhere west of her.

Time to go clean up more goo. Happy happy birthday to me.

Edited in purple pedialyte color in lieu of my baby boy to say: we are definitely not going. Kept throwing up all morning, took a bath, then threw up again. Fever of 100. He is now sleeping curled up on the floor. Alexis is so so so understanding (why would I think any differently??) and said to promise her to go out tonight for dinner or go get a pedicure for my birthday. She is even making me check in so she knows what I did. I have a feeling I won't do anything. I will feel badly for Neil to come directly home from work, then take care of two kids, one being sick, and then send me off for some fun. I actually think I would rather be here parked on the couch watching my basketball games (gooo Illini . . . go Saluki's!) . . . but of course only with a glass of wine in hand, or better yet, a margarita. That will make all things peachy-keen. Almost.

Have fun without me, AJ. Will miss you guys. Already do.

How to read a 17-month old?

I post this question as Maia is having one of her tantrums. These tantrums just started this past week. And they are daily. Sometimes twice a day. And they drive me crazy. Not because I can't stand her crying and throwing a huge fit (because I find that part kind of funny, actually) but because I don't know exactly WHY she is throwing that fit, and then I wonder if I am doing something wrong. I think these tantrums are a result of her not getting her way. If she doesn't get her way, then all heckaroo breaks out.

Example # 1 - A few days ago she and Noah were coloring. She decided to take a marker (washable, but still . . .) and color her belly. So, I took the marker away, told her she can't do that, and put the box of markers on the fireplace mantle. She broke out in a bloody murder fit. she threw herself on the floor, tears streaming down her face, rolling all over the place, screaming, and hyperventilating a bit. She wasn't hurt. She was fine. Just wasn't happy with not getting her way. I kept time, and this went on for 20 minutes. Yes, 20 minutes. And I just ignored her. (That's what I am suppose to do, right?) Noah even ignored her like he does every time she does this. (There's moments when he even says "it's okay, Maia . . ."). So my question is, how long will this behavior last? Is it a normal stage in baby girls' lives?

Maia has these tantrum fits if she doesn't get what she wants, if it's time for bed and she doesn't want to go, just to name a few. She's even started throwing them because of really miniscule things (not miniscule to her, of course) like being done with dinner, not wanting a certain type of food, wanting to try this or that herself (because she thinks she can do it like big brother Noah), wanting to try and pick out her own clothes (again, like her brother does), wanting to go outside when the rest of us aren't ready to, and so on. (And I let her pick out her clothes, for example, but she gets really frustrated in that process. Maybe the problem is that she can't explain what she's wanting and how she is feeling?)

We never experienced this with Noah. I think he has had maybe 5 tantrums ever. Maia, she is obviously a completely different human being! And one very strong-minded, determined baby girl. (Mom said I was similar to this, but I didn't have any older siblings and my way of saying it had to be my way or no way, was by holding my breath!)

So the question of the day in our house is, will these tantrums end? And is this behavior because of Noah being bigger and she wanting to be like him but she knows that she cannot? What can I do to help her? I need other mommies to help me. This is a whole new world to me and not a world that I find myself comfortable in. At all.

Edited to add this afternoon thought: I just put Maia down for her nap, which she use to go down for so simply. All I had to do was lay her in bed with a drink, her blankies, and wish her good night. She'd fall asleep without a peep. I just attempted the usual easy nap routine, and it didn't work. As soon as I set foot in her room, she threw her head back and almost hit it on the dresser. (sigh . . .) Then I put her in her bed, she stood up, flailed her arms in the air, then fell down on her chest and face. I walked out and of course she's still screaming. Ohmygoodness! What is going on?! I don't think she is teething and I know she is tired. Where oh where did my sweet quiet obedient little girl go? Someone please tell me this is normal!

This and that

First of all, Maia is walking ALL OVER! It's so fun to see! What's more fun this time than with Noah, is that we now have two walking at the same time. And watching her follow him is the sweetest thing. It sometimes ends in him pushing her down, but most of the time he just eats it up. I think he feels more like the "big brother" now and feels really special when she wants to do what he is doing. He's been very "motherly" to her. It's just so fun. And I forgot how neat it is as a mommy to see Maia concentrate so hard on each step, wobble as she does it, catch herself from falling, and then falling on her bottom, getting up and then trying again. Each stage is just one reward after another. I love it and I'm eating it up, too.

Frankie just decided she wanted her picture put on my blog, so here you go, wet nose and all!


A funny. Noah is saying the sweetest things some days, and other days not. For the past two days when I say "I love you" he responds with "thank you" really sweetly. It's so cute. He's also figuring out what to say when he is doing something he shouldn't be and doesn't want me to know. I'll say "what are you doing, Noah?" and he's say "nothing" when we both know darned well that he is! He has also said the "hate" word a time or two. I cannot believe a 3-year old knows it. I think he got it from hearing other kids say it on television, cartoons, etc. (TV really is a bad influence!) And it's so hurtful. I am not sure he knows what it means, but it still feels like a dagger shooting through my heart. This afternoon they were both taking a bath. He was splashing viciously all over soaking the floor. I asked him to stop and he didn't. So I pulled him out, dried him off (as he screamed) and he suddenly and sharply screamed "I hate you!". Wow. Of course he sat on the bad boy chair for that one. But this journey as a mom with a 3-year old is quite interesting. One moment it's pure joy, other moments it's agonizing. But I'm trying to take note of the cute things he says because I know soon he'll be having gramatically correct conversations with me and I'll then be wishing for that cute toddler talk again. And here is another funny. Noah was playing with Maia's Cabbage Patch Kid today and decided to "put baby to nap with Wunnie" (his elephant). I had to snap a pic of course.

Tomorrow we head to Chicago. We're staying at Neil's dad's place up there. I really look forward to our getaways up yonder because it forces me to not do work and concentrate solely on my kids and hubby. It's really nice. And it's nice to be in a place you can call "home" but not have any sort of distractions at all. Friday Neil is going to work at the Board of Trade, so it will just be me and the kids all day. I think Friday my friend, Sara, who lives downtown, is going to come over and hang out with us. I can totally see us shopping or getting coffee because we do that so well together *wink*. Then Saturday morning I'm shooting pictures of Katie's new baby girl, Rachel. She lives on the most northern part of the city limits. We might at some point go see Jason and Jo's new digs, too. They just recently bought and moved into a brand new condo. I've seen pics, but am anxious to see it in person! So anyway, that's our weekends plans. I know I'll be thinking about all the work things that I should be doing, but it will be nice knowing that I can't do any of it and can just enjoy every aspect of our time together. And I can't wait to see and meet new baby girl, Rachel!

I just designed my Christmas cards! I am so excited about this. I just have not had time to design them, but a couple of nights ago I made time, and so they are done and I'm really happy with them. Lucky for you, I don't have any extra time on my hands, because otherwise I would probably be designing cards monthly. I just love getting my hands wet in what I went to school for. So you all should probably be receiving cards in a couple weeks. I can't believe Christmas is right around the corner. It's really snuck up on us this year and I think that's because it's been so nice outside. Monday we were outside in short sleeves. How many days past Thanksgiving can you usually do that?! Not many! Anyway, expect to see cards in your mail box from us shortly. (And no, no sneak peaks!) Here's why (and when) I officially felt like Christmas may be approaching us. We saw Santa on a motorcycle!



And then, out-of-the-blue we are sorta house hunting. We stumbled upon a diamond in the rough. It's 2600 sq feet with a finished basement. It is an estate home, and so the price just keeps going down because no one wants it. It's actually quite scary when you walk into it. It's in awful condition. Just really dated. But Neil and I walked into it and at the same time had the same thought - "we can do so much with this". We look past all the 80's wallpaper, ugly brown wood work, shag carpeting, linoleum floors, and musty smells and saw a beautiful diamond in the rough. I so hope we can get this house. But to revamp it to what we want would probably cost 75k. We're seeing what we could do, though. It would work perfect for a studio as well. It just seems too perfect, but at the same time, on the positive side, maybe that's because it's meant to be? So cross your fingers for us. Our little 1200 sq foot house is getting small and smaller as the kids grow, get more toys, and as my business grows (and thank God for that!). I don't know, maybe this is another not-meant-to-be moment, but we shall see.

Happy Hump Day!

the power of mommy friends

Jen called me today to see how I was doing with all the hullabaloo going on right now. She is the sweetest, dearest person. I love her to death. And I miss her so so much. Mississippi just isn't all that close. Nothing like a hop skip and jump away like it use to be. I could throw a rock and it would hit her house.

Anyway, that is beside my point here. She asked me another pretty big question today and that is "Val, how do you do it?". She was talking about juggling a 13-month old, a 37-month old, housework and then my work-from-home job. I said "I don't really know, Jen".

I tried having a good explanation behind it, but I didn't. And I think just because I have never thought of myself as a great mom. I just do what I do to get by. She summed it up well when she said it seems like all she is doing anymore is suriving day-to-day. That's exactly it. You do what you have to do to get by and hopefully the choices you make on that daily journey are the right ones. We'll never know, but we have to have faith that we are making the right decisions and doing the best we possibly can.

She also talked about how hard it is without a network. She said she talked with her friend who also lives in another state and they agreed how hard it is not to have any sort of network - to move to a new place without other mommy friends to talk to and without family near by. Yep, it's gotta be hard. I cannot even imagine that feeling. But then I think about it, and I kind of do understand it. I know my dear friend (also my sister-in-law), Michelle, who just moved to Oklahoma, understands it all too well, too. And so does my other very dear friend, Alexis, who just moved to North Carolina. But even though I didn't actually move-move like they did, some days it certainly feels like I did.

Here is what happened. Two of my very best friends moved in the same month from my town. Two people who I saw weekly and communicated with daily. Alexis, also a stay-at-home work-at-home mommy, she and I did so so much together. We walked so many of the same daily walks. She was my support for anything and everything. She always had answers and they always seemed to be the right ones. Always. And her youngest daughter, Sam, was my son's best friend. (I'd like to think they still are.) Alexis was the first (yep, even before my husband) to see Noah as a small tiny bean on the ultrasound screen - what a miraculous moment that was to finally see a baby! And then Jen. Even though we have only known each other really well for a short time, it's like we've known each other for our entire lives. We are the same person in so many ways. She is the kind of friend you meet and you wonder where she's been the past 30 years. And we have daughters who are exactly 6 months apart who were suppose to grow up being best friends. (Maybe they still will be? We're both hoping . . .) And then, out of nowhere, she and Alexis both say they are moving. And moving 10-13 hours away in different directions. The news really really sucked.

I know the moves have been really rough on them. But, I have to be selfish here and say that it's been really hard on me, too. I lost my own network. And I haven't gained one since. I'm alone, too. I'm struggling with the stay-at-home phenomenon. I'm struggling as a work-at-home mom. I miss my friends. And I need some grown-up time. And so that is why I feel like I have moved away, too. Granted, my mom is still here and I am extremely grateful for that. But the only mommy friends that I had who also stayed at home (and who understood me best!) moved hundreds of miles away. I might as well have moved too.

I'm still not really sure what my point is exactly. I guess it might be to tell Jen "thank you". Thank you for realizing how hard it is. Thank you for telling me how great of a mommy I am; that I do a good job. You don't hear that often, and when you are struggling to do it all right, to make all ends meet, and to figure out how you juggle one thing while doing the other and sometimes actually succeed at it, it's a wonderfully fulfilling feeling to hear the words "you do such a good job, Val." It makes you feel more worth it as a friend, as a person, and especially as a mommy when other recognize what you do and give you bonus points for doing it.

Now how do I actually get my housework done AND keep a photography business going from my home AND be a full-time 24-7 mommy, I can't really answer that. I can't really answer how I do any of it. All I know is, I get my drive from 4 things. 1) at least 5 hours of sleep a night, 2) 2-5 cups of coffee a day, 3) friends and family (like jen) who cheer me on and support every move I make, and 4) God for keeping my head held up, my eyes looking in the right direction and my mind thinking as clearly as I possibly can. Some days I don't think too clearly, but the next day I try and suck it up and make it all work. And it usually does all work out. The housework, though. It never gets done. When you have kids - especially the 2nd! - you let it slide and it doesn't really even matter anymore.

So, Jen, there's a long way of answering a simple question that you asked me today. But you know me, I can't do or answer anything simply and quickly! But really, I don't think there is a simple explanation for anyone. You just follow your instincts (I've told you that before), lean on friends and family and survive the best you can (take your own advice!). You're going to make it. You already are. Look how far we have came! For so long, we each did not think we would ever have babies! Look at us now. Tromping along like we're pros.

Jen, remember this - you, too, are a GREAT MOMMY.

Me and Jen at her baby shower

Alexis with Maia in the hospital - she was the first one other than mommy and daddy to hold her after she was discharged from Level II

Me and my belly (I'm the big one!) and Jen (small belly - Addy is just a bean still!) the day before I had Maia

Alexis was the first and only to get Maia to take a bottle!

Jen with Maia in the hospital

Jen visiting Maia and mommy at home

New family of three

Time to let go.

Probably many of you don't know this, but I am still nursing my sweet baby girl. Yes she is 13 months and I haven't minded one bit that she's held on to it for so long. I've loved it as much as she has. What an extraordinary bonding time that nothing else could ever come close to. But today, I am coming to the realization that it's time to let go and that time is happening.

With having my teeth done yesterday, I was not allowed to nurse. So I "pumped and dumped" as they call it. So for a day and a half now, Maia has not nursed. Neil took yesterday and today off, so it's the perfect opportunity for me to wean her. While she doesn't want to wean, I really think it's time. And I'm devastated. She doesn't like this one bit either. And I think she's catching on to what is happening. It breaks my heart. I am positive this is harder on me than it is on her though.

This transition is especially hard on me because I know that this is my last baby. My body won't allow for anymore chilren. (At least my doctor doesn't think it can.) I am so blessed, though, and shouldn't complain. Well, I'm not complaining really. Just venting my emotions. It is just really hard for me to come to this realization that we're done . . . that we have to move on . . . that I'll never have the experience again. It's like a huge turning point, not necessarily a good one in my mind, but to others I'm sure they think it's good.

I've became comfortable with the fact that we're done having children, but to let go of breastfeeding is a wake-up call saying "infancy is over, it's time to move on, you're never going back". I am excited for what lies ahead, but it's so bittersweet. Time will move on whether I want it to or not. And that is what is so hard about this and hard about all things we don't want to face in life. I've dealt a lot with "having to move on" lately.

My last nursing time was Wednesday night. And I actually remember it vividly. God must have been secretly saying "Valerie, look into your daughter's eyes, this is the last time you'll see her sweet face nursing". Because that's what I did. I remember saying "Maia Lizzy" and she looked up to me, smiled so big, kept nursing, but kept looking into my eyes. As I am typing this, I am sobbing. I guess I am so emotionally sensitive and attached to things that I hold close to my heart. But I can't help it. The experience has been just so amazing and I'm just so grateful for it. I never ever ever thought I would be one to nurse after having such a difficult time with Noah, but it was perfection with Maia from day one. And I am forever grateful. I will never forget my last nursing session with my sweet baby.

As I wipe away my tears, I think of the positive side to this. I get my freedom back (woo-hoo!), but part of me wonders if it's really worth it? I mean, this time in Maia's life is so short compared to the rest of both our lives. I question whether I should wean her and let her just self-wean, but the way things are now, I feel like she's want to do it till she was 3. I can't do that. While I need to do what's best for her, I have to do what's best for me, too. They suggest nursing one year and I surpassed that (!!). She got all the wonderful mama-milk nutrition that she could get. I never had to supplement. She's going straight to whole milk. I know I did a good job and I need to be satsified with that. But it's just really hard.

To end, I ask you to help me get through this. I want to have a "Goodbye" party. Maybe I'll burn my nursing bras? Whatever it is, I ask you to join me in saying "goodbye" and help me to be happy about saying "hello" to freedom; hello to my pre-pregnancy, pre-nursing body. It's bound to be better on the "other side". No leaking, no engorgement, no middle of the night feedings . . . Hello to date nights, weekends away . . . Oh that does sound nice . . . :)

I have to have faith that it's going to be ok. That we're doing the right thing. Please tell me that I am.

Momisms

I love posting. It's just way too fun. I thought getting a laptop would be a good idea so I can work during the day and not have to be downstairs on my desktop, and look where this gets me. Online playing. Bad Val. But posting does only take a couple minutes where as actually working takes hours. Having hours during the day with kids never happens. Ok, once in a blue moon. But as you know, blue moons are very rare.

I never ever thought I would turn into my mom. But I think I am. I am at least doing and saying "mom things". It's kinda weird. When you are 10 you always think to yourself, "why does my mom say those things?" or, "I will never act like that with my own kids". Well, truth be told, look at your mom and how she raised you. You will do the same thing. *smile*

I caught myself yesterday saying something & wondering if I had turned into my mother.

Noah and Maia were playing. Well, Maia was. Noah was sitting on the couch trying to watch cartoons. Maia wanted to play and so she was standing next to the couch reaching for him. Noah kept yelling "No, Maia, STOP IT!", and I then repeated to him a half dozen times, "Noah, she is not hurting you."

I recall my mom saying this to us all the time. I wonder what will come out of my mouth next? I try really hard not to say mom things like this, but it's not working, so I'll start concentrating on things that I can actually succeed in. *smile*


Here we are (like mother, like daughter, like daughter!) downtown Chicago at the end of July. (And with my oogly tinted old-person glasses. Yes, I know. I am admitting to being old by saying that. *smile*)