Trail Mix & Spilled Coffee

Sorry no posts from me this week! I don't have any really good excuse except that I haven't felt motivated to blog because I've been busy with so many other things.

Sunday was my great friend, Corie's, baby shower!! It was so fun. I got to see my other dearies, Beth and Tracy and Beth's mom, "mommy Pat" and Tracy's new beautiful little girl, Abby, among other familiar faces. It was fun and Corie looked flawless and beautiful! I am so excited because she is coming back up from St. Louis next week just so I can shoot her maternity pictures! (Woot!)

While Tracy and her family were here visiting from North Carolina, I was going to shoot their family on Monday afternoon, but it ended up raining, so we postponed the shoot until they are back home again in June and July. Which actually works out better because there will be green grass, trees with leaves and flowers. Plus, Abby should be sitting up well on her own then. (Speaking of Trace, darling, you NEED a blog!)

So, I have to drive 35-40 minutes each way to the town where my chiropractor is 2-3 times a week. While I loooove him and love going because I feel so good afterwards and because I get to see my friend, Beth, each time I go, I am so tired of the driving already. I think mostly because it's so expensive for me to get there and back with gas prices the way they are. That's a lot of driving for me each week in the van. I'm not really sure what to do because I know it's really benefiting me. Anyway, that's just something on my mind.

So while in town this week for my chiro, during the time of my son's preschool, on both Monday and Wednesday, Maia and I ran errands. I bought some organizational things for my very un-functional closet (it's tiny tiny), we got a baby pressie for our friends Danielle & Dan (my roomie in college whom I've talked about who had a girl March 20th!) and we went to the cat vet and made an appointment for my cat, Heinz (yes, he's named after ketchup and if you didn't realize how much I like ketchup, welp, -----> now you do!) for his hair problem that he STILL HAS. (It's driving me completely batty.) I also dropped off some pictures at a client's home. Aren't they the cutest "clients"?

But then while at home this week, I spent a good number of hours sorting through winter clothes and adding them to the "winter clothes" boxes for storage and picking out all the items that the kids can no longer wear. Then I put out the new spring and summer things (note to file, still need to do mine) and then I piled up about 10 piles of Noah and Maia's clothes to send off to friends who can use them. We got all the stacks of clothes but 1 mailed off. So I also spent a lot of time in the United States Post Office this week. But I'm so happy to have done that because the clothes are being put to good use and they're out of my house -- the most important thing, right?! :c)

Speaking of clothes, I went through a lot of my own as well, and I have a lot to give to whomever speaks for them first. And they are a lot of very very nice things. Anyone interested?

So don't dis me for this because I cannot help my size. I'm blessed to have great metabolism because yes, I do like to eat, and yes, I eat a lot! Believe me, there are a lot of things I don't like about my body, however I am very thankful that my size is one thing I don't have to worry about ---- yet.

Before I got pregnant with Noah, I was a size 0-2. After pregnancy I was told by some people that I'd never be back into a size 0. And they were right, I wasn't right away. I began as an 8, then went down to a 4 for about 6 months, but then suddenly I could wear my 2's again. (Never say never!) They didn't fit exactly as they had before, you know how our bodies change, but the point is, they did fit! Well, since I am not having anymore babies, I have no need to hold onto these 4's. So if anyone is interested, I have probably 15 pairs of brand new J Crew jeans and dress pants and I will sell them super cheap just so I don't have to spend the time listing them on ebay! Some were worn once or twice. I also have some Gap in the pile.

It's also been a busy or exciting week for some people I know. My brother-in-law, Brad, had his birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday, Bradley. Hope you liked Ella's "pink cake"! And then Neil and Brad's cousin, Kara, had her baby boy, Spencer, on the 1st. She was 3-4 weeks early and he was close to 8 lbs and Kara is a tiny size 0 girl! I can't believe he was so big. I saw her a few days before and she didn't look that large! (Spencer must have been hiding well.) I am still waiting to see some pictures. Anyone, anyone?? Congratulations to Kara and Josh! It's their first child.

On the flip side, my friend, Jennifer, is dealing with her grandmother's body beginning to shut down (bless Jenn's mom for taking care of her dear mother), and then my dear friend, Kristin, lost her grandfather yesterday. She had a relationship with her grandpa like I did with my own. He was a fantastic person and I am so touched that I had a chance over our long years of knowing each other to have met him. Again, I'm sorry, K. It's never ever easy. And a really hard thing is, Kristin's birthday is Sunday on the day of visitation. If you know Kristin, please send her a card. I know that would be extra special for her during such a rough time in her life.

And please think of my very dear friend, Alexis, as she is on an airplane RIGHT NOW flying to Thailand for her and Matt's 10th anniversary! She is nervous and upset to be leaving her kids as they didn't make it easy on her to leave. And if you know her, you know her anxieties are already way up there. So think of her and say some extra prayers for her that they make it safely and that they have an amazing time.

Finally, know how my week has ended?? I got home from picking up Noah from preschool and I brought the kids upstairs to the kitchen for lunch. Maia got up on the island area where my laptop was open and where my old cold coffee was sitting next to it. And I'm sure you can guess what happened.

I was doing something in the sink and I kept hearing "I'm sorry, mommy, I'm sorry, mommy, I'm sorry, mommy . . . " and I turn around to the sight of spilled coffee all over my keyboard. Oh.My.Lord. And that's exactly what I said, too. I quickly turn it over and let the coffee drain out on the floor and wipe it up with a towel. I figured I'd look at the screen and see it black and dead, but it was still on!! Praise the Lord! So I'm praying still that it doesn't eventually die on me, but so far so good. Cross your fingers for me! This is a scary situation on my hands! I swear my computer luck is not good. I am usually in dire mac situations at least once a year for whatever reason.

I just hope to never ever mention spilled coffee on my computer again. Lesson learned: don't put your coffee cup near the computer and don't leave the computer open. Ever.

A photography post coming soon!!!! Maybe even today!!

I interrupt the voting to cry . . .

It has not been a good day today so far. I need some other mommies to make me feel better.

Noah has been having troubles going to school and today was yet another one of those days. But probably the worst thus far.

He was fine getting in the car, and while on our 5 minute ride in the car to school he was okay, too. He did say a few times that he didn't want to go to school today. (I ignored him.) Then we got to school and as I was getting him ready to get out of the car I overheard another parent tell their child that "today's picture day!" and in panic mode I look into Noah's book bag (because I hadn't done it yet -- to be honest, I don't normally -- I am oblivious to how being a mommy to a child in school works, so I don't usually do that) and of course there are like a dozen papers in his bag, all mostly things from the school and one of them was a form for school pictures which indeed ARE TODAY and the form was suppose to have been turned in yesterday. Ugh. I am such a bad mom. I just haven't got the hang of this stuff yet.

Noah looked nothing like the other children. They had on pretty dresses and button-up shirts. Noah has a big goose egg bump on his head from literally running into the wall a few nights ago. And I put a wrinkled t-shirt on him and didn't try and make his hair look any better. (And why would I? He just plays at school and usually gets messy or dirty.) He didn't want to be there, so his eyes were red from the urges he had to just start sobbing. And now that I'm gone, I know that his eyes will definitely be red in the pictures . . . he may even be crying in the pictures . . . or worst case, not even in them at ALL. Which is probably the most likely scenario since he absolutely HATES having his pictures taken, and that really stinks for his mother who is a photographer! (Sigh.)

So that's how my day began.

He wouldn't follow directions for me or his teacher. His friends came to console him and he just pushed them away! My son pushed them away. Makes me so sad because I feel like I'm one of the most compassionate people around and I welcome compassion from others, yet he wants nothing to do with it. At all.

I walked him up to his room, hoping that would help. That was probably the worst decision for me to have made. He did walk up with me, but when we got in the room he broke out into a bloody murder crying fit with tears rolling down his eyes and couldn't catch his breath because he was getting that upset.

His teacher, who I LOVE, and still do, said probably the worst thing to me. She said, "honey, he's really still just a baby" and then gives me a big hug. Um, okay, well what mother would just LEAVE HER CRYING BABY WHO IS SCREAMING "MOMMMMMMY"? I know she was trying to console me, but it only made me feel worse, like maybe I shouldn't even have my "baby" in school yet.

So I did leave, with him chasing after me. His teacher followed, but wasn't quick enough. He fell to the floor sobbing. I just kept going and did look back which was the worst thing I could do. To see him the way he was makes me cry now thinking about it. I know school is great for him and his teachers are wonderful and his friends are the most caring little people. But that doesn't mean it's not hard for him . . . or me.

I called Neil right away. And then Leann called me, like she almost knew I was having a bad morning even though I hadn't seen her yet. And then I called mom. And then Leann called me back again. I do feel a little better, but man, it's hard. I know others of you have probably had struggles. I just want people to tell me this is normal and that we're doing the right thing with him and could you also please tell me there will soon be a rainbow emerging out of this (what seems to be every day that we go to school) event that continues to take place. I just can't see one right now. And did I mention that I just feel like a bad mommy? I know I'm not, but I feel like it right now and it's hard to just magically make feelings like this go away just like that. :c(

Ugh.

You know . . .we all have times that are harder than others . . . times that make you think a little more and cry a gosh darn ton. But it's those times that you always walk away stronger and wiser, at least I (very strongly) believe so . . .

I don't wanna go into details, but if you could say some prayers for us over here, that would be so good of you. Just some issues going on . . . nothing huge . . . and we'll get through it . . . just, you know . . . one of those times!

And then I lost my adopted (I have always thought of her this way) grandma today, Marie.

She went into the nursing home right about the same time my grandpa did. I think I mentioned her briefly in a blog entry back in October. I'll probably tell you a little bit more about her later, just not right now as it's late and I'm soooo worn out with pulling so many late nighters working.

But yeah, we lost her today, and it's so sad. I'm especially sad for my dad because she was like a mom to him . . . and he a son to her. She and her husband never had any children. And they've been in my dad's life since he was born. Well, and then since I was born, too, I guess. So, nevertheless, it's a pretty hard loss for our family.

Ugh. I hate these times, but I know they're here for a reason . . .