Goodbye Grandpa.

My dear, amazing soul of a grandpa passed away last night with myself and 15 other cousins, aunts, uncles, mom and dad, all with him. The cancer is no longer taking over his body, his heart is no longer working overload, he is no longer fighting for a breath, he is not suffering any longer.

So many of you knew my grandpa. He was always so interested in knowing about my friends. He thought highly of, and knew pretty well, Neil's mom ~ Pat, Neil's dad ~ Bill, Heather and Natalie. He asked all the time about Neil's brother. Just because of that, those who didn't know him, should now realize how caring he was of others. He loved everyone who shared a part, no matter how big or small, of their life with him.

I was able to hold his hand while he took his last breath. I'll never forget this moment in time before passing to our Father in Heaven; watching him cry for the last time and then take his last breath. I just cannot express how amazing this was for myself and my family. I am truly lucky to have them as my family. I had such a wonderful time with my cousins as grandpa laid in his final hours. We laughed and talked about memories with my grandpa and grandma. (Grandma passed in 94.) My family farms and so many of our memories with grandpa were on the farm, out in the bean fields, running on the farm through the trees, playing hide and seek around the grain bins, eating his homemade ice cream, leaving him messages on his chalk board, and so on. He was a very hard-working man.

It really was amazing and I am so so thankful I was able to be a part of that time with my cousins while grandpa was right there with us listening to us share our memories. While this was one of the hardest moments of my life, letting him go, it was also one of the happiest. I will never regret spending the past 48 straight hours with him. I didn't even sleep. I learned so so so much in the past couple days (weeks and months even) from my grandpa and also from my family.

The past few weeks have been really really hard. We've experienced some family troubles along the way, and I'm learning that they won't end here. Many more things will probably be uprooted in the coming days. I ask you, if you are of the praying kind, to please pray for my family, my dad especially, that he can make the right decisions, and that these decisions be made in my grandfather's best interest. I also ask you to pray that my grandpa's siblings can let go of some troubling issues. It's really played a part on my family and has separated many.

My grandpa was my shining light. He is my last grandparent...mom and dad's last parent... He and I were very close. He had 8 grandkids. But he and I had such a strong connection. He was always so proud of me and told me. He always told me how "perty" I looked. He was never without compliments. He was never without kisses, hugs or squeezes for me. He showed me what a hard-working person looks like. He showed me what determination, will and strength looks like. He showed me so many life lessons.

He also loved my children so very much. They brought him so so much joy. It was only Maia and my brother who brought smiles to my grandpa's face the past few weeks. Maia especially brought him such happiness. I am forever grateful they shared 1 entire year together knowing one another. He also loved Neil very much. He thought Neil was a great man. I know Neil thought the same. I am so happy that Neil got to know grandpa like he did the past 13 years. Neil was closer to grandpa than his own.

I am grieving like crazy for my dear grandpa. I will miss him so so much. But I know I will one day see him again and what a happy reunion that will be. He is pain free. He is with grandma. They are walking the streets of gold together. He has be reunited with his brother and sister and mommy and daddy. I am so thankful for these things. He forever lives on and I can't wait to meet him again. Until then, I promise to be good. To live my life to the fullest as you did. I love you, grandpa. I will never let a day go by without thinking of you. I can't wait for the day when you tell me again "there's my girl!" and then for you to sit me on you lap and ask me if I'm still your girl and then tell me how perty I look. I can't wait for that. And I know one day I will hear those things from you again.

Until we meet again...
I love you.