Happy 10th Anniversary...to us.

I am so so so behind but that's nothing new. I have so much to talk about and don't really know where to begin. I'm just going to skip it all for now. A big date is approaching.

Tomorrow Neil and I will have been married 10 years, together 16 years. It's funny because here we are celebrating our 10th and we should be going on a trip to somewhere tropical (we didn't go on a honeymoon and still haven't been anywhere romantic alone, but one day we will and it will be fantastic) but instead we are painting rooms and moving around furniture to make room for our 3rd sweet baby. So things don't always go as planned. Something I know very very well, so it's not a surprise. I honestly don't think I would want it any other way right now. What a wonderful way to celebrate 10 years, preparing for another little miracle into our family.

Let's see... We were married 10 years ago in Champaign, IL at a beautiful Presbyterian church. 350 guests packed the church on the hottest day of the year. I remember so clearly watching the 10:00 news at mom and dad's the night before seeing the forecast for July 3rd calling for 97 degree temperatures. Unfortunately, they were right on, too. No breeze, just hot and humid. Oh, and I don't think I mentioned that our church didn't have air conditioning. Not something we thought about when booking the church in December. Oops. Lesson learned with that one, and one that we can hopefully pass down to all our kids.

(Neil and I at the church, 9 years later...shot last summer by my friend Erin.)

But it was a beautiful ceremony, I must say. All 6 of my girls looked amazing in their ivory dresses and carrying blue flowers. My flower girls, Ashley and Taylor, the cutest little flower girls ever. My dear friend, Kristin, sang John Denver's Follow Me (one that was sang at my parents' wedding making it extra special) and Bette Midler's Rose. My grandma Libby was at the wedding as she fought off breast cancer, totally exhausted but would never miss my wedding for the world (she passed away 8 months later and I loved her dearly like a best friend). It was the hottest day of the year, and the shortest ceremony ever, but it was still very special, as it should be. I married my first love..my high school sweetheart, and here we are 10 years later reminiscing that day. Wow.

We've had some very challenging times, but I can say they all have only made us stronger. I'd never wish hard times on other couples but I have to say that it's really the only thing in a relationship that will force you to either come closer together or pull you apart. I'm thankful we made the choice for these challenges to bring us closer together. Our infertility, losing babies, and thinking we'd never have a family was a huge obstacle for us to make it through. But we did. I would have picked no one other than Neil to sit with me in the bathroom for hours as I lost a baby, and I wouldn't want anyone other than Neil to say "it's going to be okay". (I told him I didn't believe him, but in my heart, I did.) He's been my lifesaver...my strong tower...holding me up while I know he was dealing with the same intense pain as I.

I lost my two grandmothers and my grandpa during our time together. I held my grandpas hand as he took his last breath, and Neil was there with me during that moment...the hardest moment in my life, I think. Neil lost two of his grandfathers. Those weren't easy times. Parts of both of us suddenly gone, in really, a very short time. And then there was Noah's birth, where I was intibated and put completed under; Neil unable to even be in the room as his son was cut out of my body. And then Maia's labor of 31 hours ending with a c-section, in which of course he was next to my side through every minute of it. God's challenged us with a lot, still is...but He's also proven to us that we can get through just about anything with faith, compassion, patience, and love.

I'm so lucky to have someone who loves me as he does. He does so much for me. So much for our family. So often I think to myself "no one else would do this for me, I'm so lucky to have him" and then I say a prayer thanking God for my wonderful husband. He's the most amazing father taking so much time out to play with them, color with them, teaching Noah how to ride his bike, doing Maia's hair (when I know it isn't something on his "most exciting father moment" list), taking them grocery shopping so mommy can have some time to herself, taking them to the farmer's market to pick out flowers for mommy to plant, taking the kids somewhere while letting mommy sleep in bed all day when she is experiencing aches and pains, and the list goes on and on and on. I am truly truly blessed.

I could go on and on with this blog post, but I won't bore you more since I probably already have. I just wanted to give Neil the recognition he deserves. I love him so much and these 10 years, well, they've truly been the best years of my life.

I love you, Neilly. Happy 10th Anniversary.

Just 2-1/2 more days . . .

. . . and hubby leaves for China. {deep sigh}

I'm so nervous. Very very nervous. Don't ask me why because my answer consists of a half-dozen different reasons. (Just ask Alexis.) But I feel guilty for feeling how I feel because so many women suffer way more than I do when their husbands leave for months or years at a time. I feel extremely blessed in that way because I know that will never happen to me. But selfishly I am really nervous and scared. Scared for him, not me. I know I can handle it. It will be harder than normal and my work will have to stop for 9 days, but I know I can do it. And it's not that I don't think Neil can't handle the travel and China itself. I know he can. But I'm scared about the things not in his control, like his safety and health. I am also scared for myself in the way that I am not sure I can mentally handle my kids 24-7 for that long. Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom, but when Neil gets home in the evenings, I begin working about 6:00 and when I start working, I work. And I'm in my office. And Neil plays and takes care of the kids. It's my only break in the day. A break I need. And I'm a little afraid about how I will handle not having that break for 9 days. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I also like to be mentally, emotionally and physically able to take care of them as I should.

Anyhow, 2-1/2 days before he leaves on an 18-hr flight to China. (Yeah, I'm counting that 1/2 day.) Please keep Neil (and selfishly, me also) in your prayers come Friday. He's going to be clear on the other side of this Earth for 9 days. When I say that, I think, "yep, it's just a dream. He's really not going." But I'm pretty sure he is.

When Neil left for Germany (for 6 days, I think it was), I shot these pictures of him and our kiddos as he was getting ready to leave the house. I love these pictures.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

I Peter 9:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Happy Birthday to You!

Happy Birthday to my very best friend in the entire world . . . the daddy to my children. You are the sunshine in my life, and I know, in our children's lives as well. Happy 31st birthday.

Love,
me





p.s. I'm going to miss my water birth this morning, but I'm really excited to say I will still get to photograph tonight this new life coming into the world today . Erin and I are going to go see him/her this evening(she doesn't know what she is having, although I dreamed it will be her 3rd boy) and Neil will then share a birthday with a new little friend of ours :c)

Loving my bed, but missing him.

The two only reasons why I like it when Neil is gone out of town on business.

1) I can lay in bed with my laptop, type as loud as I want, and not bother anyone (him).

2) I can sleep sprawled out in bed and sleep like a baby. (Well, unless my babies don't wake me up in the middle of the night, and that most likely never happens. But I will still get to hog the bed and I sure savor these hogging moments!)

Yeah, Neil is gone again. This time to Salt Lake City. I'm excited for him however, because he's never been there before and he says it's pretty (of course he didn't use that term, but anyway . . . ), and also because he is eating good food (I'm jealous!) and meeting some nifty people.

I guess he met with a big technology developer today for dinner in SLC. This guy had to push back his dinner meeting with Neil because he had a long lunch meeting with Rudy Giuliani. Neil said this developer guy, whose name I have no idea of, is one of Rudy's biggest financial donors from Utah. I thought that was kinda cool. This guy thinks Rudy is definitely going to win the Republican vote, but of course he is giving Rudy millions of his moolah, so why would he think he's going to lose?

I do really like having an entire bed to myself. But I don't like it empty for a really really long time.

Once he gets back from Utah, he then turns around and leaves for Germany on Sunday morning. *sob* I really hate when he travels, but I know it's for the good and I do love having all that room to take over the bed. But, it does get lonely.

I wouldn't mind if he'd ask me to just hop on the plane with him when he goes to Germany, but then would the kids fit in the overhead compartment? Probably not. We can't really justify spending the money for them to fly at their age and for the short amount of time Neil will actually be gone (4 days for an overseas trip really isn't that long when you're talking jet lag). And I'm not sure we can even really justify spending that much on a ticket for me either, unless we planned to stay over a week. Maybe one day that will happen.

My point. I love a bed to myself, but will really miss my dear hubby. Please, friends, keep me company while he's gone. You know how I get with needing adult conversation!

Do you have a video camera?

I have to admit that I know nothing about video cameras. I don't even think I know how to work one of the new snazzy ones they have out on the market. I have an old one that is pretty simple. The smaller ones look more complex, but maybe I'm wrong. See, I know nothing! Which is why I need your help.

Tomorrow is Neil and my 8th anniversary. I can't hardly believe it. We've been together 14 years. Each year I think, wow, it doesn't feel like it's been that long and I can't believe it's been that long, but then I count backwards and realize it really has! And then I think how I've absolutely loved every year of it and secretly I'm always thinking about another wedding where we renew our vows. Just a dream, but maybe one day it will happen? I take notes at the weddings I shoot . . . shhhhh!

Anyway, I am completely blessed to have been chosen by Neil. He is quite possibly the best husband ever. (I've even had friends tell me that in a way that I feel like they're saying in a very loving way "don't take him for granted!") And we've never really exchanged nice meaningful gifts before. We're just not all that into that. (Sappy, I know, cuz that's me, but we have each other!) I think I've bought him clothes in the past . . . but nothing that ever pertains to us. So my first thought was, how about a video camera?

So I bought one. I think it's a great gift for him. We'll both use it of course, but this piece of technology he can be in charge of. I'm usually stuck behind my camera (but because I want to be!), so this one he can be stuck behind. I'm just not sure I bought the right one.

I went into Best Buy with having done zero research. But I talked to the sales boy (yes, he was a boy) and he really knew a lot. (You know, we can all tell when they're pulling it out of their butts or out of their heads.) So I think he led me down the right path and didn't talk me out of a medium-priced camera.

So my question is, what do you use? Do you like it? Is it a tape camera, a memory stick camera, a DVD camera or a hard drive camera? Tell me all about it. Then I'll tell you what I got and if I'm keeping it (based on what you tell me --- ha!).

Father's Day is in 6 days . . .

. . . and I am clueless as to what to get my darling husband!

I need some ideas for Father's Day this year. I have the best hubby in the world who does so much for me and my children. (Including dishes, dinner, and the kids' baths 4 or 5 nights a week just so I can work.) I want to show him simply how much we love him without buying him a new shirt or tie . . . you know, the cliche of all Father's Day gifts? :c)

We'll be traveling this year on Father's Day . . . probably not truly how he wants to spend it. We'll be flying part of the day and driving the rest of the day and with 2 kids, one of which who has 2 or 3 tantrums a day as it is . . . the thought of tantrums while travelling . . .wow, what an adventure this will be (*ugh*). Then Saturday I have a big wedding. One that I am photographing and am invited to as a guest, and so is Neil, as we're friends with both the bride and groom. And then Friday we are off 45 minutes away to see the Orthopedic Surgeon for Miss Maia. That will probably last all day with tests and x-rays. Then Thursday night we'll be packing since we won't have any time Friday or Saturday to do so. Probably none of those are really ways he wants to spend Father's Day.

Anyone have any suggestions? What are you doing for your husband or fathers? I need help!

A bump (or spill?) in the road . . .

Why are we always encountering speed bumps?! Ugh. I really want to just scream.

Neil's mom took the kids for the weekend -- bless her. So we have all day today and half of tomorrow to work on the house and for me to work on my photography. Our realtor suggested we do some facade work on the house, like painting the entry and windows, just making it as pristine as we can make it. So Neil got paint this morning to paint the entry and windows.

I was in the dungeon (a.k.a. basement) working when I heard a crash. I honestly wasn't sure what to think. Just a few seconds later Neil comes in the back door and yells down at me, "I need help!". I hurried up there. He had fallen off the ladder.

Of course my remark was "that is why you don't do things like that alone" in my mother voice because of course we had been over that a gizzillion times (just like a mother and her child . . . not sure that is a good thing, but anyway . . . ). Luckily he didn't hit his head, but what if he would have? I don't even want to think about it. He did hit his elbows and butt on the concrete steps and was pretty shaken up. Otherwise, I think he is okay.

I knew I would walk to the front to find paint all over. I thought I'd find a big spill but instead, I'm not sure if this is better or worse?, I find splatters of paint everywhere. The side of the house, the ladder, our landscaping -- 3 of my planters and two of the bushes, not to mention the mulch, the sidewalk and steps, and, of course, Neil.

Ok, now tell me how ironic this picture is. Here we are trying to make the entry pristine, hoping to give potential buyers the best first impression, and instead, now we have this entry way that looks so much worse than it did before all because of, I guess, an unfortunate moment of bad luck. But just wait. It turns into a day of bad luck . . .

So we scurry to do our best to clean this up, all the while Neil ignores his bloody elbows . . . poor guy! We get out hoses and try using the spray nozzles to clean it off. I think we have the least powerful nozzles in the entire world. Really, I do. Um, note to file, spend more than .99 on a nozzle next time you need one. There's a reason folks as to why there are so many different kinds of nozzle heads and cost such a wide array of prices! Needless to say, it didn't work except maybe a teeny tiny bit. It's 86 degrees here. The paint dried so quickly that most of it is still there shiny bright white on concrete for all to see how bad of painters we are. Sigh.

Neil then tells me to go back and work. So I do. I walk to the dungeon to the sound of dripping water. The water that we so diligently sprayed, had seeped into the step and into my office (which of course resides right under those steps!). Water (and not just plain ol water, but white paint water) was all over everything. Ruined my album mats (about $100 worth) and soaked two of my lights (I pray they aren't ruined). The floor is soaked (with white stains now) and a huge pile of receipts and bills were ruined with water. They're now drying. We'll see what I can recover.

Oh my, oh my, oh my.

When Neil found out about my stuff getting ruined he said a few not-so-nice words about the house. I think this was the final straw for Neil. We've both realized that there's no double-guessing the decisions we've made. It's time to get out and time to get out now.

Our realtor called this morning and even though we aren't technically on the market till Wednesday, she needs to show the house tomorrow. We are hoping and praying that maybe we will "sell" before we are even on the market. How great would that be. Will you send some prayers up for us? Maybe the realtor "having" to show the house is a Godsend.

Off to work some more. I just had to "vent", so thank you. I really do feel much better as I sit here with water still seeping in. They (the neighbor -- bless our dear friend, Randy [!] and Neil) are pressure washing the front now. Neil feels like it's better to clean off the front of the house than try and save this area of the "dungeon". I do agree. So I just sit, do my computer work and listen to the sounds of glorious seepage . . . "drip, drip, dripdripdrip, drip, drip, dripdripdripdripdrip" . . . You get the picture.

Hubby's heart

For those of you who have been keeping Neil in your thoughts, please continue to. We still have not heard results from his test as it can take up to 3 weeks! Does that seem like a long time to you? It does us! Hopefully we'll hear good news soon?

Gone, gone, gone for a week.

Hubby left for Hershey, PA (to meet with Hershey, actually! I told him he better bring me back something chocolate-y!), then to New Jersey and then to CT!

I so hate it when he leaves. It was really hard for him this time. Not sure why except that Maia has really been attached to her daddy lately and I think that's a big part of it. He also hasn't traveled for a while. I think the last time was when we all got the Rotavirus (not good memories with that one!). Thankfully we're all healthy this bon voyage. I hope Neil stays that way. He should get his results back from the heart test this week sometime. I just pray it's all okay since he'll be gone when they come back in.

So, it's going to be a long week. We have a few days planned out . . . like mom is coming over Tuesday night for dinner and to watch AI with us (and I may see if she'll go for our evening walk with us also) and then Wednesday morning we're going to go see Grandma Martha and maybe we can get her to take us to see the new baby -- her son, Brandon's wife, Sarah, is having their baby by c-section on Tuesday -- a girl! Thursday I might be shooting a senior portrait, and some time we have to go to the fish store to buy some new fish for our pond and I'm sure somewhere in there we'll make a trip to Starbucks and Target ;c)

Ok, I'm just blabbing now. I just really do not like it when he is gone. Makes me sad, makes the kids sad. Makes us realize what all he does do when he is here and how much we love him and how hard it is when he is gone. Neil is truly the best husband and daddy ever.

As you know, we went to Chicago a few weekends ago. We went to the Museum of Science & Industry and got this really neat-o picture taken when we were there. It cost us $20 (!), but to me, to have a family portrait for once (!), it's so worth it! The kids look star-struck, but I love it anyway. Our first family portrait (at a museum of all places - haha!) in a whole year!

Oh, and yep! That's me with a Starbucks! ;c)

More joy and a little bit of scare.

So it's done! We have a new (piece of a) sewer line! We can now wash clothes, dishes and the best thing . . . ourselves (hehe)! Yayyyyyyyy!

Good news ~ it didn't take an entire day to do.

Other good news ~ while our patio that Neil built is torn up, it's not as bad as Neil thought it would be.

Even more good news ~ price tag = $2000 (yep, that's it - I say "it" with unthrilled exaggeration! - we thought it would be closer to $3,000)

Bad news ~ our yard looks like a dump truck came in and unloaded fill dirt in our once very nicely landscaped yard

I honestly do not have too many more things to complain about because I'm just soooo relieved we have this done now. One huge stressor off our shoulders. Now if we could just sell the darn thing . . . Deep breath. In God's timing, I know . . . (I'm trying to smile now.)


We watched the workers from Noah's room. They had to dig really really deep. The picture at the bottom shows the roots that were down there blocking the tile. See them? They are like 6 inches in diameter. The tile on the right of the picture has a piece of one of the tree roots sticking out of it. Amazing, really.

And here is the hole! See the sewer drain tile way down there? See it, see it?

Onto something else . . . Neil had a strange episode today.

I called this morning to see if he knew when the sewer people were coming and his desk neighbor picked up. Said he wasn't there and that he had just passed out. "What?!?!" I was thinking. He went on to say "he's ok, he's ok" trying to reassure me, he just didn't know if I knew.

I got off the phone and then freaked out a bit because 1) he wasn't at his desk and 2) he didn't call me! Was he somewhere else passed out? Was he at the hopsital? I went into worry mode. Then he calls me and said he "just passed out" and didn't know why. He told me he was sitting at his desk when he just blacked out. I told him he needed to go to the doctor. So he did. (Yay, he listened to me!) They did all kinds of tests on him. Everything came back ok except for his heart test.

Neil has always had a small heart problem, and to be honest, I don't think it's even a problem like many heart problems are. But one test today showed a small irregularity so he goes again on Wednesday for more tests -- a heart band?? Anyone know what this is??. Then the doctors sent him home.

He didn't have a concussion but he does still have a headache. On his way down to the ground when he passed out, he hit a garbage can and you won't believe the welt he has on his forehead! He's really lucky that he was not standing when he passed out.

So now he is home and resting. And seeming to be okay. I don't think anything is wrong, and he feels pretty confident in that, too, but it's still scary thinking that there could be. But I'm going to be positive and think that things will be fine. :c)

It's just been "one of those days".

My friend, Jamie, came by to bring a t-shirt for Noah, and when she did, she got out of her car and she and I started gabbing. Her daughter, Hannah, got out of the running car and shut the door, locking it behind her! (She told me later that she didn't want Noah getting in the car, haha!, she is 6.)

So, I had to drive Jamie to her husband's work, get the keys from him, and bring her back to her running car, and her child, who stayed with Neil who had just came home from his head incident.

But it was a few minutes that I got to spend with Jamie gabbing and we set up a get together for a week or so from now. It was totally fine and I didn't mind doing it AT ALL. Just kinda funny how this happened today on top of everything else. You know, "one of those days".

Anyway, hoping things will start going uphill now that all these not-so-wonderful things have happened sending our spirits downhill. Send some cheers my way if you will.

New Job!

I am full of blog posts today!

Neil has a new job! Here's the memo that went through to all of ADM today!

Yayyy hubby!! Way to go! Congrats!

Morning!

On behalf of Mike L and Kevin B, they are pleased to announce the following personnel changes:

Mike Z will assume a new role as Manager-Sauces and Dressings for the Packaged Oils Division. Mike will report to Chet B, National Sales Manager-Sauces and Dressings.

Neil C will assume Mike's former position, as North American Sales Manager-Glycerine, reporting to Mike L.

Please join them in congratulating both Mike and Neil in their new roles.