Gone today, gone tomorrow.

Well, it happened.

I was sitting 10 minutes ago in my office working. I thought Neil was watching the kids. Boy was I wrong.

Maia comes into my office saying "mommy, Noah cut my hair!". Yep, it's cut. Yep, I lost it. Yep, I can't stop crying.

I know this happens to every little girl with hair at some point. But it was her brother, almost 5, who did it. HE KNOWS BETTER. And he KNEW he had done wrong because he was hiding under a blanket. I'm beside myself. And I absolutely totally know it's not the end of the world. I know that. But you know how long Maia's hair was and tomorrow it's going to have be all cut off. Tomorrow it's going to be all gone. And it just makes me sick to my stomach. So sick.

Make me feel better while I go cry some more. No amount of Matt Damon or Joel McHale is going to make this mommy feel better. I just need some hugs and some tissues passed to me please. And lots of them.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Better late than never . . .

Last Friday was this mommy's very first ever field trip; and as a chaperone. It was really fun but I have to say I won't volunteer for one of those again for a while ;c)

There were so so so many people there -- we went to a pumpkin patch with hundreds of other kids doing the same thing -- so our kids, being some of the smallest, kinda just blended in. It was hard keeping track of them and having had Maia with us, it made it even more hectic. Bless my friend, Nikki, who went as a chaperone with her 8-month old daughter and 2-year old son! We did have a great time, though, especially Noah and Maia. The kids (all of them) were so so so good and the day was perfect for them.

The best thing for me was seeing my son interact with his friends. He is definitely a follower and was almost always at the back of the pack of boys, but was always willing to keep up and always had a big smile on his face doing so. I can still hear him saying "wait for me, guys!!". It was so sweet! And to see him run through the patch in search of the perfect pumpkin, that was so memorable, too. He'd say "Look at this one, guys!". He is just the proudest little guy and has such a big heart for his friends. As a mother, you love to see that. It just grabs at my heart.

And then there was Maia. She was at the very end of the pack as a straggler. She so wants to be in preschool like her big brother. She calls all the other kids her "friends" (however, it sounds like "fends"). She and her little boyfriend, Isaac, who is also (just turned) 2, had the very best time trying to keep up with the fun, very busy, inquisitive preschoolers.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures. Here's to many more chaperoning trips ~ I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing??This will be one of my favorite memories. Watching him run and run and run. The pumpkin fields seemed to be endless and were like Heaven on Earth for a child who loves to run and explore.

Squeezing in a 'hello' & update

Site should be up this week! Yay!! I put in my request to "go live", so we'll see how long it takes! Yippee yay yay yay!!!!!

I'm having mega Internet troubles, though. Apparently many people in my town are. So we're on a waiting list to get fixed. Ugh, ugh, ugh. My signal is hit or miss. The tech guy was just here so he has it connected for the time being, but he said it could "just go" at any time. So, if you email me and don't here back in reasonable time, that is why! He said it could be a WEEK before it's fixed. Oh my goodness . . . a week?! I'm sure everyone has reasons why they need to be online, but I think mine is pretty valid -- I WORK online . . . all my photos go online and my ordering takes place partially online. I NEED the Internet. It stinks how much we rely on technology in this way. But what other choices do I have? Not many. This is the only Internet company that my teeny town has. So I have to wait and wait and wait and twiddle my thumbs and put more of my work on hold even that much longer. Just when I thought I was getting caught up and doing so well, too. Ahhhh well.

When my site does "go live", I will be finding a way to let you all know even if that means a special trip into town to a coffee shop that has wireless. It's going to be so exciting! I am just so so proud of how it has turned out thus far. I hope you will be also.

Oh! Some other really cool bits of news ---

I heard from my brother last night and he helped create a video that will be on MTV's TRL for The Chain Gang _______ (something-or-other). I'm super excited for him even though I have no idea who the group is?! (R&B or Rap, I'm assuming??)

And I found out, just this week, that a relative in our family is preggie and so is a friend of mine AND another friend just had her baby girl named Ryleigh. Congrats April and Carey! And our friends, Brian and Melissa, had their first baby girl just last week and I get to see her tomorrow when I do her newborn shoot @ just ONE WEEK OLD! Babies just keep comin' from every direction and it makes me so happy! When does a baby not make a person smile?

And the best news of all. Noah has successfully went to school 3 days in a row. No "I-don't-want-to-go-to-school"s and absolutely no complaints or whines. He went every day with a smile and returned with an even bigger smile. I hope this is a beginning of good things for him in school. (I really really really really hope.)

Talk to you again soon . . . who knows when?!

I interrupt the voting to cry . . .

It has not been a good day today so far. I need some other mommies to make me feel better.

Noah has been having troubles going to school and today was yet another one of those days. But probably the worst thus far.

He was fine getting in the car, and while on our 5 minute ride in the car to school he was okay, too. He did say a few times that he didn't want to go to school today. (I ignored him.) Then we got to school and as I was getting him ready to get out of the car I overheard another parent tell their child that "today's picture day!" and in panic mode I look into Noah's book bag (because I hadn't done it yet -- to be honest, I don't normally -- I am oblivious to how being a mommy to a child in school works, so I don't usually do that) and of course there are like a dozen papers in his bag, all mostly things from the school and one of them was a form for school pictures which indeed ARE TODAY and the form was suppose to have been turned in yesterday. Ugh. I am such a bad mom. I just haven't got the hang of this stuff yet.

Noah looked nothing like the other children. They had on pretty dresses and button-up shirts. Noah has a big goose egg bump on his head from literally running into the wall a few nights ago. And I put a wrinkled t-shirt on him and didn't try and make his hair look any better. (And why would I? He just plays at school and usually gets messy or dirty.) He didn't want to be there, so his eyes were red from the urges he had to just start sobbing. And now that I'm gone, I know that his eyes will definitely be red in the pictures . . . he may even be crying in the pictures . . . or worst case, not even in them at ALL. Which is probably the most likely scenario since he absolutely HATES having his pictures taken, and that really stinks for his mother who is a photographer! (Sigh.)

So that's how my day began.

He wouldn't follow directions for me or his teacher. His friends came to console him and he just pushed them away! My son pushed them away. Makes me so sad because I feel like I'm one of the most compassionate people around and I welcome compassion from others, yet he wants nothing to do with it. At all.

I walked him up to his room, hoping that would help. That was probably the worst decision for me to have made. He did walk up with me, but when we got in the room he broke out into a bloody murder crying fit with tears rolling down his eyes and couldn't catch his breath because he was getting that upset.

His teacher, who I LOVE, and still do, said probably the worst thing to me. She said, "honey, he's really still just a baby" and then gives me a big hug. Um, okay, well what mother would just LEAVE HER CRYING BABY WHO IS SCREAMING "MOMMMMMMY"? I know she was trying to console me, but it only made me feel worse, like maybe I shouldn't even have my "baby" in school yet.

So I did leave, with him chasing after me. His teacher followed, but wasn't quick enough. He fell to the floor sobbing. I just kept going and did look back which was the worst thing I could do. To see him the way he was makes me cry now thinking about it. I know school is great for him and his teachers are wonderful and his friends are the most caring little people. But that doesn't mean it's not hard for him . . . or me.

I called Neil right away. And then Leann called me, like she almost knew I was having a bad morning even though I hadn't seen her yet. And then I called mom. And then Leann called me back again. I do feel a little better, but man, it's hard. I know others of you have probably had struggles. I just want people to tell me this is normal and that we're doing the right thing with him and could you also please tell me there will soon be a rainbow emerging out of this (what seems to be every day that we go to school) event that continues to take place. I just can't see one right now. And did I mention that I just feel like a bad mommy? I know I'm not, but I feel like it right now and it's hard to just magically make feelings like this go away just like that. :c(

Foto Friday ~ part II ~ 1st day of Pre-school

Today went really really well. For Noah, anyway. I probably acted like I did very well, but my insides were turning. I was still so nervous as I left the school and as I was stepping down the steps leaving, I so badly felt the need to cry, but parents were still trickling in, and I couldn't look like a total wuss. So, I took a deep breath, and Maia and I headed on to the grocery store, just the two of us.

Noah went straight into the gym, where all the other kids were, and where they meet every moring before school. He just stood and observed, because that's his nature with everything. Then he stood in the circle with the others while they sang a song, said a prayer and recited the Pledge. His teacher, Mrs. A, then told them to all line up, and guess what? They all did, including my boy. He didn't even turn around to give me a kiss, say goodbye or even wave. Boy that was heartbreaking, but I know he didn't even think twice about those things because he was just that excited.

So I'm thankful that this is how it went this morning. I'm thankful that he fit in right away, that he couldn't wait to learn, that he started talking with the kids right away. And when I came to get him, he didn't want to leave. I'd say that's a really good sign. He gave his teacher a hug and off he went with me. My boy is growing up. I'm so thankful to be seeing this day with my son, but wow, is it ever bittersweet.

Picture time!!

First of all, on Tuesday, Noah received a package from his Uncle Brad, Aunt Michelle and cousin Ella. He was thrilled silly to get it. What was the surprise? A pencil pouch filled with stickers and paper and pens. Even a pad of paper for Maia. They both had a great time with their goodies (thanks, Aunt Chel and Uncle Brad!)(click on me to see pictures bigger)

Then that evening, we had a picnic gathering with the rest of the kids in Noah's school, their parents and the teachers. Afterwards, we all went over to the school, we got to see Noah's room, meet the other kids and parents and get to know the classroom a bit better. We had a great time, especially Mr. Ready-to-Learn!

Here are some pictures from the picnic and his classroom.

Then today. We all know how today went. And here is my very happy, very excited boy on his first day of pre-school. A moment that is stamped in his mommy's heart forever. (click on me to see pictures bigger)

Today is the day

Today is Noah's first day of preschool. He is so excited! He's going to such a great school and he's going to have the best learning experience. So tell me, why am I sooooooooo nervous??

Pre-school here we come!

I can't believe Noah is at the age to begin pre-school. It's one of those things that I'm really excited about, yet am nervous about, because, well, it's just one more sign that my baby is really growing up.

I am totally looking forward to mornings where my children aren't pestering each other and mornings that I only have one child with me for errands. (Target will once again be seeing more of me. Not sure how happy hubby is about that one. Glad he doesn't read my blog!) But it makes me a little nervous that Noah will be more on his own now and someone other than myself will be teaching him and guiding him. But on the flip-side, he will have the chance to use his mind in a way he didn't know he was capable of doing. He will probably make some good friends, too, and I am hoping so will his mommy ;c)

My friend recommended this school and yesterday I met with the head administrator. I absolutely loved him. And I also, unexpectedly on all accounts, met 3 of the teachers there. They were all so great . . . very friendly . . . and you could just tell how passionate they were about their kids! There's nothing better than that.

The school is a private Christian school. The grades go up to 8th grade. I have no idea how long we'll keep him there, but I know for at least his 2 years of pre-school, its the right fit for him. He could be in the 4-year old class this year, but we both feel it's probably best for Noah to at least start out in the 3-year old class and go from there. Next year he would definitely be in the 4-year old class. I'd rather him be the oldest of his classmates than the youngest.

(I will post their philosophy below, but first, . . . ) It's because of schools like this one, that we chose to move here. I think it will be such a great fit for Noah's foundation of learning, regardless of whether he stays there or goes on to public school. The teachers are SO passionate - it showed in the hour I was there yesterday. Their doors are always open (Mr. H said he expects us to visit unannounced as much as we want to), and the class sizes are less than 10. Noah's class will have SIX. How cool is THAT?!

So while I'm a tiny bit hesitant just because I want him so much to enjoy it (that way I know I can go on with my day more easily knowing he is happy), I am on the most part, very very very excited for him. And I already know 2 of the boys who will be in his class and they have such great parents and are great kids . . . it just makes me so . . . happy . . . it's just a bittersweet happy.

For those of you interested, here's what they say about their philosophy:

At "MCA", we start with the Word of God as our foundation. A focus on the person of Christ, Bible heroes, the principles and teachings found in the Word, serve as our basis of truth. We believe that Bible-based instruction produces children with Christian character.

We believe that children rise to their academic, emotional, social, and spiritual potential in Christ in an environment that is Scripture-rich, loving, and challenging. By basing our philosophy of education on Biblical principles, our students come to know how to make decisions in their life based on eternal truths, not on passing social or cultural trends.

At MCA, we think of our curriculum as being “American Classical.”

It is classical in the sense that our language arts focus in the primary grades is phonics-based, with an emphasis on explicit letter sounds and penmanship. In the intermediate grades, the spotlight shines on word studies, and language expression. By reading classic literature, writing to specific audiences, and acting in many of our school's productions, our students learn to face the world with confidence.

Our curriculum is American in the sense that we teach Christian character through studies of the Pilgrims and our Founding Fathers. The virtuous lives, scholarship, eloquence, and faith of these great American men and women, we believe are worthy of study and emulation.

In a word, our method of delivering instruction is, tutorial. Because of small class sizes, (10 students maximum in Pre-K through 3rd grade, and 15 students maximum in 4th through 8th grades), we are able to give plenty of individual attention to every student. Each teacher's goal is for all students to achieve mastery in every unit of instruction. At MCA, your children's teacher is also their tutor.

Students of MCA score well above national averages on standardized tests. Not because they have learned how to take the test, but because they have knowledge, and have learned how to be a thinking and reasoning person. Due to of our emphasis on academic quality and character development, students are very well prepared for the educational and social demands of high school and college.

Most importantly, the results of an education at MCA can be realized by the Christian character displayed by our students. Students at MCA can articulate a Biblical perspective on life. They are able to demonstrate an understanding of what it means to be self-governed by Christ. Students here learn how to listen to God through their conscience. They exhibit the decision-making, academic, social, and spiritual skills necessary to lead a successful Christian life.